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helannah

Member
  • Content Count

    14
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  • Last visited

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About helannah

  • Birthday 09/26/1996

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    norfolk dereham
  • Interests
    Music,modelling,making new friends,trying new things,seeing new places.

Previous Fields

  • MembershipType
    Survivor

Recent Profile Visitors

1,028 profile views
  1. helannah

    Hello

    I'm not new here I tend to have breaks from the site then come back,I hope I can make some new friends here.
  2. I was at a bar in my local town out with a few friends enjoying myself I saw a bloke at the bar who I knew and not seen for a while he was my ex's brother. I went to go speak to him,it was the general typical conversation like how are you,how's the family ect. Then he started flirting with me I thought okay this is a little weird I had so many thoughts go through my head, he had a wife and 2 kids why is he bothering to flirt with me? Then I went back a few years when I dated his brother and I walked through into my ex's kitchen to make him and his brother a cup of tea I was wearing shorts and t shirt which is my every morning wear. And I remember one of the things he said to me "your arse my face" he said it in front of his brother they both laughed and I spoke to my ex later on that day to ask why he thought it was so funny and he said "it's just a joke don't worry about it" but I did the last time I saw him. I was getting my coat to leave the bar I was at and he followed me and said did you need a walk home and I politely said no and asked how he was getting home due to the taxis not running any more and he said don't worry about it. I felt anxious. He wouldn't take no for an answer we got to the graveyard which is just 2 minute walk from the bar and I wanted to speak to him about me and his brother like no hard feelings and get everything off my chest but he thought differently. He started taking off my clothes pushed me up against the church tower and raped me I told him numerous times to stop but nothing. After it finished I ran towards the bar hoping someone would come out and help me and they did the owner and the staff ran over and got me inside and phoned the police I done a video statement and a medical body examination. I didn't hear nothing for 3 months and when I did the police said they couldn't take it to court due to lack of evidence yet I done a body examination and they found his DNA then they said he had an alibi my heart stopped for a minute. Who was this person that gave him an alibi do they know what he done? Do they even care? I went downhill and still scared to leave the house.
  3. helannah

    Relationships

    I know my past is holding me back a lot in life but I find it very hard to trust people especially the ones I care about the most I feel like I have competition all the time and my fiance likes to brag about his girl friends saying about how good of motorcyclist they are and im sitting here with nothing I cant go out without feeling threatend of everything yet I have all the protection in the world just feels like im worthless once again
  4. helannah

    Daily Life

    Recently ive just got another therapist this is my 3rd one now and out of all the therapists that have helped me this one happens to be the best I get the idea that she really wants to help me shes trying to get me into work even though ive been registered as unable due to high anxiety . Overall ive been suffering badly once again with bullying, on my Facebook page I had a lot of nasty comments said to me because I had an abortion in july but due to the person I was with at the time I couldnt keep it but I wouldnt of had the baby because I thought my education was more important and I wanted to settle down and then have kids but those people found out about it and they said I was lying only because I said I miscarried and the hospital said in their own words that "if you miscarry in a hospital its an abortion if you miscarry at home its a miscarriage" which is what I went by and I got called a liar for it but I never wanted anyone to know because its my life and I do what makes me happy after a while it went quiet then my first rapists sister started sending me death threats saying my time will come and that I should drop down dead not the kind of words I expected from a 30 year old! I had to get a police woman out and she put a harassment order on on the main girl causing the problems then It all stopped thank god! But recently ive been finding things quite hard due to my rapist sending me a nasty message saying he never raped me but yet he pleaded guilty in court and ive been suffering for a long time but in the end I blocked him I now have a fiancé and im very happy I still get my down moments but who dont ? But after being a surviver once again from menyal abuse I am now a stronger person
  5. helannah

    My Story.

    i know but i just didn't know the reason for it :/ the therapy is going okay so far but i only have 2 sessions left and i just don't think i'm getting any better
  6. helannah

    My Story.

    Hello I'm helannah i am 16 years of age and this is my story. In 2011 i had a boyfriend called ryan and we've never had sexual intercourse but as we got further into the relationship he started acting really weird towards me as if i wasn't there any more,2 weeks after we had been together he raped me while his mother was downstairs i didn't say nothing until 1 month after but i told the police about it and i had no justice at all he got 180 hours community servise 7 years on the sex offenders register and 10 years suspended sentence and i still see him in my town . in 2012 i got talking to a guy called daniel and i thought me and him were getting somewhere i met him once and he was smoking a lot of weed i didn't have any of it though but he kept crying because he thought his ex girlfriend was calling him and playing a song but it wasn't . after that we got talking again and he invited me round his to watch movies ect so i agreed he came back to my town in norfolk and he brought his dog with him so we got the bus to norwich and after we got there we went to a park and he saw his friends there and brought some weed and took them back to his but after that we done some shopping and went back to his , he lit up a joint and he asked me if i wanted any but i said no after the second one they lit up i got pressured into having one so i had at least two tokes off it then i started feeling really sleepy and sick so i passed out for hours when i woke up 2 of his other friends arrived to have a tattoo done when they left i passed out again when i woke up two of his other friends were asleep one was on a chair next to the sofa where i was laying the other was next to him near the door and daniel was opposite them i went to the loo and put my pjs on then i fell back to sleep again i woke up again and found myself being raped and his friends never woke up .i never said anything to the police about that one . A few months after that i got talking to a girl called Colleen and she seemed really nice i met up with her twice and saw her kids and husband me met up again a few months later and we got a few little drinks and she promised a girly night in like she said her husband said that we go up to their room and watch a movie and we watched 20 minutes of the movie and they kept forcing me to have a drink after that i started feeling sleepy then her husband tried taking my knickers off and i said no but he wouldn't take no for an answer then it happened again after it all happened they took me home as if nothing happened . Now I'm having therapy and i still can't get the flash backs out of my head it's wrecking the relationship by getting me down all the time .
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