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  1. Hello, my name is Stephanie, or "50ShadesofRed," as I am a redhead and my skin has been at least 50 shades of red over the years. I found this site about a month ago, joined, and am finally introducing myself. I am married, have three children and a dog. For the past 22 years, I thought my rape was my fault; it wasn't. I am hoping to seek guidance and grow in wisdom from those who have been on the site longer, and have had more time to process their rape. I am in a constant state of flux right now and it is affecting my family, my sleep, and my ability to function during the day. I am ho
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