Stephenjames

My situation isn't similar, so I don't fully relate. I just know that trauma is never ok for any person or persons to do unto another person. This I can relate...with this I can undoubtedly say, you did not deserve this. 

Know that I sit with you and support you, Stephenjames. Safe hugs to you, if ok.  

Hi MeBeMary

Many thanks for saying that I didn't deserve to be treated in this way. I do agree as well that trauma is never ok to force onto another person. 

Thank you also for your very kind support, thanks for sitting with me. Safe hugs to you too, if ok 

I am good Stephen James, about to turn in for the night. How are you

Hiya WannaMoveOn

How are you? I have been rather unwell for a while now. 

Apologies for the delay in my reply. 

Hope you are keeping well. 

I am well, thank you Stephen. How nice of you to check in on me! I am sorry you're unwell. 

Hello James! 

So a trigger is something that makes one associate or get flashback to an unpleasant memory or feeling. For example, let's say you'd been bullied in school. Then you read a text about bullies in school, and you start to get feelings from that time or instant memories. 

Hence, trigger warnings are to make sensitive readers aware of what is ahead, so they can prepare themselves or avoid that specific content if preferred. 

Hiya @WannaMoveOn

Apologies for the delay in my reply. Many thanks for replying to my post. 

Thanks for explaining to me what a 'trigger' is. 

I have been working on triggers with a new Psychological Therapist who works for the NHS via the local Mental Health Team. She explains it the same way as you do although I was asking her what happens to the brain chemistry with a trigger. 

I had a terrible incident on the morning of my 23rd birthday where a 'offender' triggered me on purpose which caused something to happen to my brain that I just can't explain and for 24 years have had Doctors unable to explain to me or offer me any treatment that actually worked or made a difference. 

I guess what I am trying to ask is once someone has been triggered, how do they 'un-trigger' themselves? If that makes any sense to you? 

Thanks once again for explaining what triggers are, most appreciated. 

I've heard about those techniques. You get to be angry and furious even afterward, even just for yourself. I believe solid emotions help us progress. 

Many thanks @Finchy for you kind words of support. One step at a time in recovery I guess. Just wish I had of screamed my head off that night when I was 17. 

@WannaMoveOn, its early days for me. Mostly its just CBT and talking therapy. Just wished I had of used that 'Primal Scream' technique that night when I was 17, could have saved my own life and my mental health. 

There are many things I wish I knew before and earlier in the process. You're discovering them now, which can make you compensate for your silenced child you. You are claiming your voice. 

It’s terrible what happened to you… The memories must hurt a lot…

Im glad that you come here to AS to talk… We care about you. We’re on your side… Sending you peaceful energy and friendship…

Please take good care of yourself Stephen…

🌻

I'm so sorry @Stephenjames. Sending lots of support 🧡

Many grateful thanks @WannaMoveOn @Pink Sky @Finchy @broken_but_trying @feralcat and @orangegiraffe for you very kind words of support. 

Very sorry @broken_but_trying for what happened to you age 17. Such a waste of life to be treated like that at such a young age. Lives are ruined my thoughtless people acts of depravity. 

Wishing you all well  

I'm glad you found the community. It's a good thing we all know what a safe and validating place this is...and it's nice to meet others who understand the struggles we go thru. 

Wow! I'm glad you are here with us StephenJames. We all appreciate you. 

Thank you @Finchy @MeBeMary and @snmls for your kind words. Thank you also for having me here. 

Sitting with you, Stephenjames. 

Nobody has the right to control anyone. Nobody has the right to control you.

Stay strong and remember you are strong. 

Sending all the positive vibes I have to you. Safe hugs.  

Thank you @MeBeMary for sitting with me and for your kind words. 

You are right, trying to control someone is just plain wrong!

Thanks for the positive vibes, safe hugs to you too. 
 

Many thanks @MeBeMary most appreciated. 🙂

My sympathies Stephenjames, hugs if ok.

Thank you @WannaMoveOn 

Thank you @WannaMoveOn for you support. I really hope that people do believe me, it really would mean the world. Wishing you well. 

@Stephenjames I believe you and this community is for survivors not having to prove themselves. I know what it's like not being believed. Sending sunshine ☀️

Thank you @WannaMoveOn for the lovely sunshine to brighten my day! Thank you also for reminding what this community stands for. I'm glad that After Silence exists it really is a life saver! Many thanks. 

It truly is. I'm sorry that you've had to suffer through it.  

Thank you @mini.finch for your thoughtful reply. I wish no one had to suffer such things. 

Sending hugs if that’s ok. I believe you. Evil people do that…gaslight and brainwash people they want to use. I’m sorry this happened to you. Sending my love and light. L

Many thanks @behindthesehazeleyes for your kind words of support. Thanks also for the hugs, safe hugs to you too. They are evil people indeed. Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. Wishing you well. 

It was indeed.  I'm so sorry for what you went through. Sitting with you, if you'd like.

Many thanks @mini.finch for your very kind words. Thank you for sitting with me, much appreciated  

I'm sorry for all this difficulty. Supporting you. Safe hugs, if ok.

Many thanks for your kind words of support @MeBeMary

Safe hugs to you too, if ok 

Thank you @WannaMoveOn for your kind words of support. I guess having hair on a mans head isn't the be-all-and end-all in a healthy relationship. I was only 18, they did it to humiliate me. 

My paranoid and mentally ill Sister was threatening to commit suicide if I ever got a girlfriend. My Policeman Father and his drinking friends set me up. I find it all very distressing to say the least. 

I wish you well with your boyfriend. Many thanks once again. 

Stephenjames. 

Ripping hair our counts as physical abuse in my country. 

If this affected your hair growth, I understand it must be a painful reminder, but you can meet a loving person no matter that. When we truly love someone, we see the beauty in the person inside and out. 

How nice of you to wish me luck!  Btw, wrote wrong, he is in his upper 20´s 😄 Almost 30. 

Hi @WannaMoveOn

I didn't realise what they were doing counted as physical abuse at the time. It was done by the Police, so I didn't really have anyone to ask for help. When I went to the health service, they laughed in my face. 

I will have to try and seek legal advise, maybe there is something that can be done about these corrupt Policeman. 

They turned me into a basket case when I was 16-18. I really did want to get married and have children but I fear I am over the hill these days. I find it very upsetting to think of what they did to me for fun. 

I wish you and your boyfriend a very happy future together. 

Many thanks for all your kind help! 

Stephenjames. 

Very kind of you @WannaMoveOn most appreciated. 

Please reach out to this community whenever. I hope you´re safe. 

Many thanks @WannaMoveOn very kind of you. 

Many thanks @Field8 & @mini.finch for your kind words in reply to status update. They set up all their s*xual ab*se scams to make sure that I never have children which makes it even worse. 

I understand. Not having children was taken away from me but in a different way. Sitting with you dear friend.

Hi @Field8 thank you for taking the time to reply to my status update. Sorry to hear of your pain and upset of having the chance to have children taken away from you, I know how hard and upsetting that is. Wishing you well, take care. 

So sorry you are hurting and still being hurt. It is not deserved and I hope very much you find you freedom and happiness from such pain eventually.

Keep fighting and keep remembering you deserve better.

Sitting with you, Stephenjames.  

Thank you @MeBeMary for your kind words of support and understanding, very kind of you. 

I too hope that I can fight for freedom from this terrible abuse.

Once again thanks for your support, much appreciated.