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ActivistAlly

Newbie Support Team Leader
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Everything posted by ActivistAlly

  1. Hi Koala, well, I'm sorry you suffered that attack so many years ago...but i'm glad you found our site so hopefully you can be able to talk about what happened and further your conviction that it was not your fault. It was not your fault. I hope being able to unburden this trauma will help you as you work towards living your life with freedom for the years ahead of you. And I hope that the people of AS (After Silence) will be a part of the support you deserve as you work on healing. with care, Activist Ally
  2. Welcome to AS (After Silence) Unicorn I am part of the Newbie support team and will send you the answers to your questions but briefly you need 10 posts as Princesskay said to access chat and share my story. Well again welcome to AS, though I'm sad you went through all those things to bring you here, I am glad this site is here for you. Activist Ally
  3. Welcome to After Silence i'm sorry that you went through all kinds of abuse to bring you here but glad you found AS (After Silence). i hope you'll find the people here to be supportive as you work to heal and deal with past truamas and that you'll meet friends here who understand. Activist Ally
  4. A huge thank you to PatriciaG for putting this together! Helpful terminology: On After Silence (AS), we use a short form for common words that may not be familiar to you. Here are some of the most common ones used: AS = AfterSilence (the Forum) PM = Private Message TW = Trigger Warning C = Counselor T = Therapist DV=Domestic Violence SI = Self Injury IRL = In Real Life TBH=To Be Honest TY = Thank You TC = Take Care R or R*** = Rape SA=Sexual Assualt CSA=Childhood Sexual Assualt DID= Dissociative Identity Disorder PTSD=Post Traumatic Stress Disorder On AS we also use some terms, such as: “Pocket Riders”. This is a term we use when someone is going to be going somewhere or will be doing something that is uncomfortable for them and need some support. Since we can’t be there in person, we tell the person that we will “Pocket Ride” along with them so they are not alone. “Hugs”. We ask someone if it is OK to send a hug. If they say “yes” then we can put “Safe Hugs”. If they say no to “Hugs”, do not be offended, they are just not comfortable with the word “Hugs”. “Trigger" (TW). The Post contains details of abuse that could upset someone else who reads it and may make them think of their own abuse. So using a the word(s) trigger, trigger warning or TW, a person has a choice whether to read the post or not. "Sitting with you/can someone sit with me". We know that this is a forum but we try to make a safe place so you don't feel alone. You will see these 2 phrase Sitting with you/ can someone sit with me. It is impossible for us to be there but we want the person to know they are not alone, or you can't find the right words to say. Just to let them know they have been heard and they are not alone. "Traumaversary". An alternative word used here at AfterSilence for a trauma anniversary, which typically can bring extreme emotional distress on the remembrance of that specific day of a trauma. "Dissociative Identity Disorder". A disorder in which two or more distinct identities, or personality states, are present in—and alternately take control of—an individual. These identities are often called parts or alters. "Dissociation". To separate or disconnect yourself from an upsetting situation or trauma. You may feel more of an observer than a participant. It is one of the ways our brain protects us from the trauma associated with abuse. "PTSD". A disorder with a variety of symptoms a person goes thru after a trauma. This can include flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety and more. As with any disorder, only a doctor can make a diagnosis, but it is trauma related and is common is survivors.
  5. I want to express my gratitude for PatriciaG for putting this FAQ post together for us. Thank you so much PatriciaG! Getting to know the Newbie Support Team (NST). The NST staff members would like to introduce ourselves to you. @ActivistAlly is our Team Leader. @MeBeMary, @goldraindrops, @8888, @missfrier, @snmls, and @WannaMoveOn are all here to welcome you and answer any questions about this site. You can contact any of these NST staff members by hovering over the the button of their name above. If viewing the main page, you may see them at the bottom of the page of online members. All Newbie Support Team staff are also color coded red for easy identification. Here are a few of the reminders that people forget or get confused about: The Public Welcome forum is not a private area of After Silence. Anyone such as guests or public can read any posts in this area even though they are not a member. For that reason, we ask that the Welcome forum be used only to introduce yourself. We ask that you do not share any details of your experiences that brought you to After Silence in Public Welcome. If you find that your post has been moved, it is usually because it contains too much detail. If this happens, you will receive a Private Message (PM) explaining why. You have done nothing wrong but we’ve found a better Forum for it. Aftersilence has a feature called "Chat" which allows real time "chatting." Chat is only open to Survivors. Secondary Survivors cannot get into Chat. We have a forum called "Share Your Story", which requires 10 posts from you in any other forum in order to be able to access this forum. A post consists of you making 10 comments or other original postings by you in any other boards. The reason for this is that this forum is our most private forum. We do request full, detailed stories wait until you are able to access this forum, as it is designated specifically for this purpose. ***Full, detailed stories posted outside the Share Your Story forum may be moved, by discretion of our board moderators. Your post will not be accessible unless you have reached the required 10 posts.*** Some areas of After Silence such as blog posts, status updates, Public: Rules and Guidelines, Public: Welcome!, Public: Pretty Good Year, Public: Resources, Public: Feedback Dropbox are not private but are public. Most of the areas say PUBLIC if they are but keep in mind that blog posts and status updates are also not private. The link below further explains public vs private areas of After Silence. Introducing other staff at AS and how to get help: The sections of the board have Section Moderators who supervise/monitor the posts made in that section. The NST Team does not monitor those Sections. Section Moderators are assigned to our main forums and their names can be found in a pinned introduction at the top of each of these forums. Their names are also color coded in orange, if looking at the bottom of the main page of online members. Chat mods monitor the chat room. Their names are color coded in green, if looking at the bottom of the main page of online members. The overall site Moderators for After Silence are here to help you if you have issues involving your profile or registration, issues with other members, or general problems that other staff cannot address. These Moderators are @Iheartcupcakes and @Capulet. They are color coded in purple, if looking at the bottom of the main page of online members. Should you need to contact the Moderators they can be reached through the help desk where you can post for assistance with technical or member problems. Please do NOT post here for personal support; utilize the forums for that purpose. Only you and board Moderators can see your posts and replies. You should receive a response within 24 hours of your post. Check back for replies! This is a direct link to the Help Desk: Help Desk--CLICK HERE Self-Identifying with AS Profile Gender Options Due to a technical programming deficiency, we are unable to expand the gender option at this time and only the Male/Female options are available to members. We do care about all our members and have an alternative that may help relay your gender self-identity to the other members on this site. Under your profile name and above your profile picture there is a place that one can place information. This is called a "Member Title." As a member, you have this space available to you to for information about yourself, including your gender self-identity. How you would do this is by going to your profile page. In the top right corner you have two buttons, "Edit Profile" and "Cover Photo". Click on Edit Profile. A box will come up and the very first line in your profile information is the Member Title. This is where you would place gender self-identity information. Click the save button in the bottom right corner. We apologize for any inconveniences this has caused, but believe this can be a suitable solution for this technical issue. Below are some links that may help you on your journey of healing
  6. Hello and welcome to AS (After Silence) I'm sorry you have reason to be here but I'm also glad you found this website and I hope that you'll find the members of AS to be safe and supportive as you begin to open up and process what has brought you here. Best wishes, Activist Ally
  7. Welcome to After Silence I am glad you are at a safe place to process things and I hope that AS (after silence) will be a safe and supportive place for you to talk with some others who can listen and be supportive as you work on improving your mental and physical health. Sounds like you have some lovely interests. Strength to you, Activist Ally
  8. Hello, I'm sorry that the triggers are still happening but I hope you'll find that AS is a place where people understand this happens and it's okay to say what you need and that doesn't mean you are defeated or small. In fact it means you're ready to tackle more of the work of healing I think maybe? Well I hope you'll find some people who are supportive here and good luck on your healing walk.
  9. Welcome to AS! I hope this site will be helpful with anything you would like to share or process as you walk your journey of healing and recovery from whatever has brought you here.
  10. hello quietlyhurting, welcome to AS (After Silence). I'm sorry you have survived much abuse. I hope we at AS can be helpful in supporting you in a safe was as you deal with the aftermath of the abuse you experienced. I hope it will help a little bit to express some of that hurt here in these forums. Strength to you, Activist Ally
  11. Actually the host of the topic chats is in the UK so the topic chats are meant to be accessible for both UK which is quite near to the European continent so it is not really being put on for America per se. However, I hope that an accommodation might be made so you can attend the chats as well.
  12. Hi Blue, Welcome to AS (After Silence)! I'm not sure why you feel bad for not being an American. It's totally okay to be from anywhere in the world in joining and belonging to AS. This is a world wide site not strictly U.S.A. and there are many from the UK, Australia, South Africa, Estonia, and many other nations throughout the world. I guess most of the posts are in English but that is mostly because so many people throughout the world can understand it. I'm sorry to hear about the lack of resources for survivors wherever you are from but again, you're certainly welcome here on AS!!! Activist Ally
  13. Welcome to AS! i hope this is a safe and supportive site for you that will be of help.
  14. You're always welcome here Jemma! Though it's sad that you went through a downward spiral for a while, I am very glad that you have come to the point where you can catch your breath and are ready to face things again as you work on healing. I hope AS can be a small part of the kind support you deserve as you deal with things. Please feel free to PM if you like!!! It's good to see you again! With support, Activist Ally
  15. Tulip!!!!! So good to see you again! Welcome back!!!! Activist Ally
  16. Hi Cuppiecake Welcome to AS,I'm glad you could join us but I'm sad it is because of the bad things that happened when you were little. I like rocks, dogs, and games too! Well, I hope that you will find AS (After Silence) to be a safe place with nice people who can be of support and understanding as you heal from your stolen childhood...ad maybe we can eat some cupcakes together (though far apart). Strength to you, Activist Ally
  17. ActivistAlly

    Survivor

    I can understand why being called a survivor can feel wrong. Some believe that our society doesn't let us be a victim and that means we can't acknowledge how truly devastating our experiences were and how painful they felt. It's a sort of denial of the agony and suffering to quickly label us "survivors". This is a link to an article by psychologist Beverly Engle that I think you might find interesting on this subject https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-compassion-chronicles/201504/when-did-victim-become-bad-word
  18. Hi Kathy Welcome to AS (After Silence). I am glad you are getting counseling and a support group but sorry it is not as helpful as it might be as of yet. I hope that this site and the people here can be a good part of your support system to help you along as you work for healing the past so your present is happier. Strength to you, Activist Ally
  19. ActivistAlly

    Thoughts

    for what it's worth I read your words and heard what you had to say. for me I'm so much better at talking in support of others than to describe my own struggle. thank you for sharing some of yours
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