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Newbie Support Team Leader
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Posts posted by ActivistAlly

  1. Hello @Soccergrl9

    If you remember me than you might be the person I used to talk with here and if so it's so good to see you again though I'm so sorry for the circumstances that bring you back.  If you are a person with a similar name to whom I used to know than I am sorry for the mistake but I want to welcome you here to AS although again I'm sorry for what brings you back I am glad this is a positive place of support for you.


  2. Hello L3anne, :hi:

    I'm sad for whatever has brought you to after silence but I'm glad you found us.  Though I wish nothing had happened that made it so you belong here I hope you will feel welcome and supported in all the ways an online support community can help on your journey to heal and cope with whatever has brought you here.

    Much strength to you :luck:

  3. I am so sorry to hear of your recent attack :(.  I wish you had not had such a traumatic crime against you, but I'm glad you found AS (After Silence) as a resource that I hope can be a small part of the kind and compassionate support you deserve to heal from what brought you here.  

    I am glad you are in therapy and are using arts and writing to help you cope.  It's understandable that it is still a struggle sometimes to deal with this horrific crime, and again I hope that the people of AS can help you as you work to heal. 

    Strength to you and welcome to AS :hi:

  4. :hi:

    Welcome Rocker!!!

    I'm sorry you have reasons to be here but glad you found us and hope you will find it is a kind and supportive place to help you as you heal and recover from what has brought you.  

    Activist Ally

  5. Hello Xenon :hi:

    I'm glad you said hello and whenever you like at your own pace you can say more if you wish to or just observe.  You're welcome here!!!  :luck:

  6. Ah I'm very sorry about that @Solus I would think that the best thing to do now is to post in the help desk area (viewable only between you and moderators/admins) and express you are having difficulty with this issue :(  

    I do think maybe your bogus date did save though as it says 1867???  You'd be 150 years old in that case and I'm willing to bet  you aren't that ancient!!! :P  

  7. @Solus Also sorry this is so complicated but you go to the upper right where your name is, click the drop down then there is an area called settings and you choose "Account Settings" and then it will display a page where on the right it will say "Other Settings" and under that is "Edit Profile" and then you can either enter "not telling" or enter a random date and THEN you must go to the very bottom right of that page and click "Save" for it to take it.  See if that works please? :)

  8. @Solus It looks like it is still showing up on yours?  You can try going to birthday and entering 01 01 01 or something like all 000000   or anything it will take that is not the actual date?  Or you can enter "not telling" and see if that will work?  Also, not sure if maybe there is a box that says "Save changes" on the settings page when you tell it you are not telling?

  9. Hello @Solus and to anyone else with this question!!!

    Please try going to "settings" which is on the upper right hand of each page on AS (after silence) where your user name is listed and you can get a drop down box for settings.  From settings on the right hand of the page it says "Other settings" and "edit profile".  

    If you go to "edit profile" it will have "birthday" which I filled in as "not telling" and then it won't display for others.  

    That said, once you set your birthday to "not telling" it will not display for other people.  If you however look at your own profile it will say "Birth Date" and most likely will be the date you provided when you registered.  This is NOT visible to everyone, just yourselves!  

    To test this for example I can see on my profile it says a date by "birth date" but I bet if you look at my profile no birth date or birthday will be listed.

    So you have control and can set your "birthday" to show or not and the "birth date" is only viewable to yourselves and I think to site admin/moderators with  whom you set up your AS account.

    I hope this helps and please let me know here or via pm if you have questions!!!

    Activist Ally

  10. Hi Koala,

    well, I'm sorry you suffered that attack so many years ago...but i'm glad you found our site so hopefully you can be able to talk about what happened and further your conviction that it was not your fault.  It was not your fault.  I hope being able to unburden this trauma will help you as you work towards living your life with freedom for the years ahead of you.  And I hope that the people of AS (After Silence) will be a part of the support you deserve as you work on healing.

    with care,

    Activist Ally

  11. Welcome to AS (After Silence) Unicorn :hi:

    I am part of the Newbie support team and will send you the answers to your questions but briefly you need 10 posts as Princesskay said to access chat and share my story.

    Well again welcome to AS, though I'm sad you went through all those things to bring you here, I am glad this site is here for you.

    Activist Ally

  12. Welcome to After Silence :hi:

    i'm sorry that you went through all kinds of abuse to bring you here but glad you found AS (After Silence).  i hope you'll find the people here to be supportive as you work to heal and deal with past truamas and that you'll meet friends here who understand.

    Activist Ally

  13. A huge thank you to PatriciaG for putting this together!  :clap:

    Helpful terminology:


    On After Silence (AS), we use a short form for common words that may not be familiar to you. Here are some of the most common ones used:

    AS = AfterSilence (the Forum)

    PM = Private Message

    TW = Trigger Warning

    C = Counselor

    T = Therapist

    DV=Domestic Violence

    SI = Self Injury

    IRL = In Real Life

    TBH=To Be Honest

    TY = Thank You

    TC = Take Care

    R or R*** = Rape

    SA=Sexual Assualt

    CSA=Childhood Sexual Assualt

    DID= Dissociative Identity Disorder

    PTSD=Post Traumatic Stress Disorder


    On AS we also use some terms, such as:

     “Pocket Riders”. This is a term we use when someone is going to be going somewhere or will be doing something that is uncomfortable for them and need some support. Since we can’t be there in person, we tell the person that we will “Pocket Ride” along with them so they are not alone.

    Hugs”. We ask someone if it is OK to send a hug.  If they say “yes” then we can put “Safe Hugs”. If they say no to “Hugs”, do not be offended, they are just not comfortable with the word “Hugs”.

    “Trigger" (TW). The Post contains details of abuse that could upset someone else who reads it and may make them think of their own abuse. So using a the word(s) trigger, trigger warning or TW, a person has a choice whether to read the post or not.

    "Sitting with you/can someone sit with me".  We know that this is a forum but we try to make a safe place so you don't feel alone. You will see these 2  phrase Sitting with you/ can someone sit with me. It is impossible for us to be there but we want the person to know they are not alone, or you can't find the right words to say. Just to let them know they have been heard and they are not alone.

    "Traumaversary". An alternative word used here at AfterSilence for a trauma anniversary, which typically can bring extreme emotional distress on the remembrance of that specific day of a trauma.

    "Dissociative Identity Disorder".  A disorder in which two or more distinct identities, or personality states, are present in—and alternately take control of—an individual. These identities are often called parts or alters. 

    "Dissociation". To separate or disconnect yourself from an upsetting situation or trauma. You may feel more of an observer than a participant. It is one of the ways our brain protects us from the trauma associated with abuse.

    "PTSD". A disorder with a variety of symptoms a person goes thru after a trauma. This can include flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety and more. As with any disorder, only a doctor can make a diagnosis, but it is trauma related and is common is survivors. 

  14. I want to express my gratitude for PatriciaG for putting this FAQ post together for us.  Thank you so much PatriciaG! :clap:

    Getting to know the Newbie Support Team (NST).

    The NST members would like to introduce ourselves to you.  @ActivistAlly  is our Team Leader.  @MeBeMary, @silentg,  @goldraindrops, @8888@missfrier@Poppy_ and @snmls are all here to welcome you and answer any questions about this site.

    Here are a few of the reminders that people forget or get confused about:

    The Public Welcome forum is not a private area of After Silence. Anyone such as guests or public can read any posts in this area even though they are not a member. For that reason, we ask that the Welcome forum be used only to introduce yourself. We ask that you do not share any details of your experiences that brought you to After Silence in Public Welcome. If you find that your post has been moved, it is usually because it contains too much detail. If this happens, you will receive a Private Message (PM) explaining why. You have done nothing wrong but we’ve found a better Forum for it.

    We have a forum called “Share Your Story” and a feature called "Chat" which allows real time "chatting".  Chat is only opened to Survivors.  Secondary Survivors cannot get into “Chat”.  Both "Share Your Story" and the chat function need at least 10 Posts from you in any other forum  to be able to access them. A Post consists of you making 10 comments in any of the Forums. The reason for this is that these 2 forums are private.  If you have any problems accessing “Share Your Story” or “chat”, the NST team will try to help you.

    ***Please be advised, the Chat feature is currently unavailable.  As soon we have new information when Chat will reopen,  it will be posted in the "News and Updates" forum by our board moderators. 

    Hopefully it will be soon that chat will again be available!!!

    Some areas of After Silence such as blog posts, status updates, Public: Rules and Guidelines, Public: Welcome!, Public: Pretty Good Year, Public: Resources, Public: Feedback Dropbox are not private but are public.  Most of the areas say PUBLIC if they are but keep in mind that blog posts and status updates are also not private.

    The link below further explains public vs private areas of After Silence.

    Introducing other staff at AS and how to get help:

    The sections of the board have Section Moderators who supervise/monitor the posts made in that section.  The NST Team does not monitor those Sections. You can see a list of Section Moderators and other moderating team members by scrolling to the bottom of the main page where you will see colored links to see the lists of Administrators, Moderators, Section Moderators, Newbie Support Team, and Chat Mods. 

    The overall site Moderators for After Silence are here to help you if you have issues involving other members or problems that other staff cannot address.  They are @Iheartcupcakes and @Capulet.

    Should you need to contact the moderators they can be reached through the help desk where you can post for assistance with technical or member problems. Please do NOT post here for personal support; utilize the forums for that purpose. Only you and staff can see your posts and replies. You should receive a response within 24 hours of your post. Check back for replies!   http://www.aftersilence.org/forum/index.php?/forum/122-help-desk/  This is the link to the help desk

    Self-Identifying with AS Profile Gender Options

    Due to a technical programming deficiency, we are unable to expand the gender option at this time and only the Male/Female options are available to members. We do care about all our members and have an alternative that may help relay your gender self-identity to the other members on this site.

    Under your profile name and above your profile picture there is a place that one can place information. This is called a "Member Title."  As a member, you have this space available to you to for information about yourself, including your gender self-identity.

    How you would do this is by going to your profile page. In the top right corner you have two buttons, "Edit Profile" and "Cover Photo".  Click on Edit Profile.  A box will come up and the very first line in your profile information is the Member Title. This is where you would place gender self-identity information. Click the save button in the bottom right corner. We apologize for any inconveniences this has caused, but believe this can be a suitable solution for this technical issue.

    Below are some links that may help you on your journey of healing


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