what when you see that one in the hole and this brings you so down that you totally don't know what to say. And you really can't help, because the hole is so deep and it is depressing to see that again someone is in there? That you see that one in the whole but that makes you so sad that you are not able to be of help and that you can't help makes you even more sad? Because you feel you actually should help, but you feel not strong enough.