this is my first post.....I'm glad to find your site.
I'm 49, and have recently 'discovered' via my husband listening to me talk about my dreams, that I was sexually abused by my father as a child. this came as a real surprise....I guess because I repressed it so well........it does explain a lot about my huge well of hurt inside, my sensitivities, nightmares, difficulties with feelings, struggles with what is real vs not real. Even though it is nice to have a reason for all that, I continue to have a BIG problem accepting, believing, making a connection between my emotions, my 'little girl inside', and my brain....taking in the story and making logical sense of it, feeling compassion for myself, understanding, healing. It is wreaking havoc on me emotionally, on my marriage, my husband emotionally, and my family of origin. The pain and upheaval all make me wonder sometimes if I wasn't so crazy just trying to mess with my reality, and protect myself from my feelings. Though therapists and books encourage feeling my feelings and letting them be there...........I can't help but notice that the result is like a giant earthquake. It is comforting to see that other people struggle with this memory/reality fogginess. I hope to understand all this better by hearing from others here..........and I hope for peace --inside myself at least.