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Hovis

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Everything posted by Hovis

  1. Hovis

    Just Joined

    Didn't have a good morning at Church sunday as the serman was about peace, so I couldn;t stop the tears. poke with the preacher afterwards and he prayed with me. Had a really bad flshback that afternoon and I tried for a about twenty minutes but could not escape from it. I felt so trapped. Felt nervous at home after it so decided to go to the pictures and came back feeling very relaxed. Had a couple more since but not too bad. It is sometimes so difficult to get back to the present however hard I try, and I sometimes am afreid to go to sleep because you know they are going to start again. I hope and pray that tonight will be better. Thanks for your support and hugs Had four flashbacks again last night, but managed to get back much quicker and get some sleep inbetween.. Taking the children to soft play this morning because they go back to school monday. A couple of bad nights again so went to bed at eight last night only to be woken at ten thirty with flashback although shorter and not as intense.Recovered and going to try and get some sleep Better night last night actally got some sleep When I saw the doctor wednesday agreed that as the flashbacks were not stopping so agreed to take some medication. I knew that amitriptyline knocked me out when my sciatica was bad, so agreed to try them. It has certainly improved my sleep,but leaves me feeling a wreck during the day. Have just slept for five hours whuch is the best since the flashbacks reoccurred.Also gave me a certificate for another month
  2. Hovis

    Just Joined

    Didn't have a good morning at Church sunday as the serman was about peace, so I couldn;t stop the tears. poke with the preacher afterwards and he prayed with me. Had a really bad flshback that afternoon and I tried for a about twenty minutes but could not escape from it. I felt so trapped. Felt nervous at home after it so decided to go to the pictures and came back feeling very relaxed. Had a couple more since but not too bad. It is sometimes so difficult to get back to the present however hard I try, and I sometimes am afreid to go to sleep because you know they are going to start again. I hope and pray that tonight will be better. Thanks for your support and hugs Had four flashbacks again last night, but managed to get back much quicker and get some sleep inbetween.. Taking the children to soft play this morning because they go back to school monday. A couple of bad nights again so went to bed at eight last night only to be woken at ten thirty with flashback although shorter and not as intense.Recovered and going to try and get some sleep Better night last night actally got some sleep
  3. Hovis

    Just Joined

    Didn't have a good morning at Church sunday as the serman was about peace, so I couldn;t stop the tears. poke with the preacher afterwards and he prayed with me. Had a really bad flshback that afternoon and I tried for a about twenty minutes but could not escape from it. I felt so trapped. Felt nervous at home after it so decided to go to the pictures and came back feeling very relaxed. Had a couple more since but not too bad. It is sometimes so difficult to get back to the present however hard I try, and I sometimes am afreid to go to sleep because you know they are going to start again. I hope and pray that tonight will be better. Thanks for your support and hugs Had four flashbacks again last night, but managed to get back much quicker and get some sleep inbetween.. Taking the children to soft play this morning because they go back to school monday. A couple of bad nights again so went to bed at eight last night only to be woken at ten thirty with flashback although shorter and not as intense.Recovered and going to try and get some sleep
  4. Hovis

    Just Joined

    Didn't have a good morning at Church sunday as the serman was about peace, so I couldn;t stop the tears. poke with the preacher afterwards and he prayed with me. Had a really bad flshback that afternoon and I tried for a about twenty minutes but could not escape from it. I felt so trapped. Felt nervous at home after it so decided to go to the pictures and came back feeling very relaxed. Had a couple more since but not too bad. It is sometimes so difficult to get back to the present however hard I try, and I sometimes am afreid to go to sleep because you know they are going to start again. I hope and pray that tonight will be better. Thanks for your support and hugs Had four flashbacks again last night, but managed to get back much quicker and get some sleep inbetween.. Taking the children to soft play this morning because they go back to school monday.
  5. Hovis

    Just Joined

    Didn't have a good morning at Church sunday as the serman was about peace, so I couldn;t stop the tears. poke with the preacher afterwards and he prayed with me. Had a really bad flshback that afternoon and I tried for a about twenty minutes but could not escape from it. I felt so trapped. Felt nervous at home after it so decided to go to the pictures and came back feeling very relaxed. Had a couple more since but not too bad. It is sometimes so difficult to get back to the present however hard I try, and I sometimes am afreid to go to sleep because you know they are going to start again. I hope and pray that tonight will be better. Thanks for your support and hugs
  6. Hovis

    Just Joined

    Didn't have a good morning at Church sunday as the serman was about peace, so I couldn;t stop the tears. poke with the preacher afterwards and he prayed with me. Had a really bad flshback that afternoon and I tried for a about twenty minutes but could not escape from it. I felt so trapped. Felt nervous at home after it so decided to go to the pictures and came back feeling very relaxed. Had a couple more since but not too bad. It is sometimes so difficult to get back to the present however hard I try, and I sometimes am afreid to go to sleep because you know they are going to start again. I hope and pray that tonight will be better. Thanks for your support and hugs
  7. Hovis

    Just Joined

    Had a couple of flashbacks during the night, but despite them being particularly intense i managed to get out of both of them quicker than usual and also recovered quickly. Consequently I had a pretty good sleep. Got a very painful and inflamed arm where i had my injection tuesday so may have to pop into the walk in centre later. I have been invited to a childrens party and to take my son and grandchildren this afternoon and feel more able to cope with a housefull of children. Thanks again for the support. Having a couple of good nights where i had managed to get back to the present quickly had the opposite earlier, it didn't matter how hard I tried I just could not escape. I felt just as trapped as when i suffered the CSA and the rape, and even though I was trying hard to get back it took me over an hour leaving me feeling exhausted. Why does it always seem to be worst at the weekend when I spend more time on my own.At least I should get to Church in the morning and I know that will lift my spirits. It just seems never ending at the moment. Need lots of hugs at the moment
  8. Hovis

    Just Joined

    Had a couple of flashbacks during the night, but despite them being particularly intense i managed to get out of both of them quicker than usual and also recovered quickly. Consequently I had a pretty good sleep. Got a very painful and inflamed arm where i had my injection tuesday so may have to pop into the walk in centre later. I have been invited to a childrens party and to take my son and grandchildren this afternoon and feel more able to cope with a housefull of children. Thanks again for the support.
  9. Hovis

    Just Joined

    The appointment went ok, very easy to talk to her and she had some other ideas about getting through the flashbacks. I have to keep a diary of when I have them and how bad they were and whether I was being successful getting myself back to the present and how, and I am seeing her next week. Had a good time swimming, depsite the numbness in the legs with the sciatica I managed to swim 10 lengths and then played with the grandchildren. Felt really tired when I got home and fell asleep.Slept for an hour before the flashbacks started. Had five in the next hour but managed to get back to the present inbetween, and they were not as intense as I was having. Thanks again for the support
  10. Hovis

    Just Joined

    Had about four hours sleep last night before they started so I am feeling brighter this morning,also although they woke me up five times,they were not as bad as they have been. Glad that I will be able to talk about it later,and afterwards we are taking the grandchildren swimming. I will try and get time there to swim a few lengths on my own, because then I am completely relaxed.Thanks for the support, it has really helped. Will let you know how its goes later.
  11. Hovis

    Just Joined

    Saw the doctor this afternoon and told him about the flashbacks. His response'' are you free in the morning' puzzled me until he said that they happened to have a councellor available if I wanted to talk to her. Couldn't believe my luck, as the people he had referred me to said it would be four or five weeks at the earliest. Really feel my prayers have been answered. he has also given me a couple of weeks off work, because I could not cope with everyone else's problems at the moment. Will let you know how things go. Thanks for the support
  12. Hovis

    Just Joined

    Glad to hear that last night was better. Also glad we can support you. you are not alone. Always here for ya. Found Only a couple of flashbacks again last night and only short, so much more able to cope with than they were. Thanks again for the support and hugs
  13. Hovis

    Just Joined

    Had a flashback earlier but managed to pull myself out of it quit quickly, so hopefully tonight will be no worst than last night. Saw the new nurswe today to have my pneumonia injection, and we talked about the flashbacks. She gave me an English url which is connected to the National Health service and you can connect up with your own GP, but will talk to my doctor about this when I see him tomorrow. I am hoping he will give me a couple more weeks off work, as I dont feel that I can cope with other peoples problems whilst I am still having the flashbacks. Thank you for your support-it is really great and the first time that I haven't had to cope with all the emotions on my own Goodnight and God bless
  14. Hi and welcome to AS. I only joined last week and felt that for the first time in over sixty years that I had some support, from people who really understood how I felt. We are all here for each other. People have helped me so much already. Hugs
  15. Hovis

    Just Joined

    Hi everybody Had a much better night last, more sleep and fewer flashbacks, which were shorter and less intense,so feeling much more able to cope with the day ahead.All your support has really helped. It is the first time in over sixty years that I haven't had to face it on my own, and it has really helped me cope these last few days Many thanks and best wishes
  16. Hovis

    Just Joined

    Hi, many thanks for your reply, it is so good to be able to talk to someone who understands what you are going through. When I went to visit my sister overseas in may and june I realised that due to the sciatica I have had over the past year I had put on a lot of weight. Just before i went they had found out that a major cause of the pain was the fact that my right left is shorter than my left. They fitted a lift in my shoe and this enabled me to walk and swim every day. I was also careful about what i was eating and have managed to lose almost a stone so far. I was already on a low fat diet for my high cholesterol,but most low fat foods are very high in sugar. At the moment they are hoping to be able to control it by diet and i know that I can do this as long as I can get back to work and exercise. I always find it helps me when i am dieting to only look at the next half a stone, as this seems less daunting than thinking i have to lose at least another 4 stone. despite the book given to me by the first nurse says just to follow a healthy diet she said that everything should be low in sugar, which is difficult when you are looking at low fat. I think as well the fact that I have gone down a dress size will help. I have realized over the years that many nurses even n the mental health field do not understand depression. The second nurse told me about the site myfitnesspal which enables you to keep a food diary where they work out the calories you have consumed each day and your expected weight. I at least feel That I can communicate with her. I will be seeing her tomorrow as i have to have a pneumonia injection. Last night was a bit better than some I have had recently with only a couple of flashbacks. When i was doing my counselling training I did an essay on child sexual abuse and used a book called 'breaking free'.I had also bought the workbook. When I was looking for a help line that was available in the early hours I saw these books mentioned. the following day I found them and have been using the section on flashbacks. I am sure that this helped me to recover quicker. My doctor reffered me to a cbt counsellor but the earliest they think they can see me will be in four or five weeks. I really don't want to have that much time off work and their process will be fairly lengthy. I see my doctor on wednesday and hope he will give me a couple more weeks as I do not feel ready to return yet, and I am determined not to feel guilty that my fellow workers are having to cover my shifts.Anyway will just have to see what he suggests. Had a couple of lapses over the weekend, but only had one cream cake whereas I would have had three in the past, so its a step in the right direction, i have aalso started enjoying having salads for my main meal. I am going to go swimming with my son and grandchildren this week which should be good fun and something to look forward to. many thanks for sharing your own health problems with me and I will be here for you if you want some support. Whilst i have not have had labrytitus I have also been having aproblem with my blood pressure dropping when i am standing causing me to almost pass out. It really knocked my confidence for six, but it is coming back now that i know my blood pressure is more stable keep in touch Hovis
  17. Hovis

    Hello

    I too have only recently joined, because I could not find the support I needed where I live. All the help lines were only opened for a limited time and never when I needed them either late at night of in the early hours. I know I need to talk to someone but four to five weeks seems like a lifetime, at the moment.
  18. Hovis

    Just Joined

    Thanks for all your messages, it helps to know that there are other people that understand what you are going through
  19. Thought after counselling I had got through the trauma of the abuse which started sixty three years ago. Whilst visiting the nurse recently regarding my diabetes and my comfort eating, I was told that I would have stop in my condition. This has caused a return to flashbacks which are more intense and more frequent, because I am being told that I can no get the comfort from what I eat. This has really taken by surprise as I thought they were now a thing of the past, and I am feeling it really difficult to cope.I work in a situation where I support and counsel people in the same situation annd all I want is to be able to get back to work.
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