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Posts posted by Astro29

  1. When I first joined AS I couldn't remember most of what happened, just that what I could haunted me for decades.  The memories flooded back shortly after I think because i had found a place that was supportive and understanding.  Many members here understand what you are going through because we have been there.  Just know that it will get better after some hard work but it does get better.  You are not alone here.

  2. Kris,

    It is never too late to begin the journey.  It took 42 years for me before I began to look for help and after I joined AS the walls blocking what happened began to come down.  It has been a really hard road the past few years but I am coming out the other side.  It hasn't been easy but I am stronger and I can get through it better now and face the memories as they emerge.

    It is always okay to ask for help and support here and you will find many others here that understand what you are going through because they have been through it too.

    Welcome to After Silence


  3. After the recent forum updates there has been a lot of confusion for members regarding the dates of birth that are showing on their profiles.  There are two separate dates of birth on members profiles:

    1. The "Birthday" is what a member chooses to show on their profile to other members and you can choose to show your full birthday, the month and day or not at all. 
    2. The "Birth Date" is the date of birth that you register with and is only visible to yourself and to the moderators and administrators of After Silence, not to the other members of the site. 

    If you check my own profile you will be able to see the difference.  I have my "Birthday" visible to members, just the month and date but not the year.  My "Birth Date" is not visible.


  4. Hi Kay,

    Welcome to After Silence!

    Some forums are password protected, such as the Female Survivor forum. You can post on the helpdesk, contact a moderator, section moderator or a Newbie Support Team member for that. The "Share Your Story" forum will open once you have made 10 posts. Many new members post in the Humor and Silliness forums to learn how to navigate around the boards and to get comfortable online. It is easy to get 10 posts. If you look under your avatar you will the number of posts you currently have.

    I hope this helps


  5. Hi Tangle,

    A couple of years ago there was a catastrophic failure on the forum server and After Silence was reestablished on another platform. Because of this the "User Control Panel" is now called "My Settings". To find this you use the drop down menu located next to your username at the top right hand side of the page. Once you choose the settings, the "Email & Password" reset option is the 2nd tab down on the right hand side of the screen.

    Let us know if you still have trouble finding this.


  6. You are not a crybaby. It doesn't matter if what happened isn't as "bad" as what happened to others here, if it caused you pain, physical or emotional, it matters. It hurts and you have every right to your feelings and thoughts. Try not to minimize your experience, your reactions are valid and people here will support you. I am sure that you will also be able to support others. Everyone's story is different and everyone here has a voice and insights that help others and themselves. I hope that you come to see that as you keep posting here. Everyone matters and everyone's story matters.

  7. Hi jus,

    As Minerva has already said, sexual assault does not have to include penetration and can still be very traumatic. You are not alone in this and it does not matter how "bad" the assault was, it is all bad and you deserve to be heard and supported. I do not know your story but I hope that you can find a forum that fits.

    Please let us know if there are any other parts of your story that may warrant a new "type", either here or you can PM me.


  8. After Silence is a message board accessible by the internet. It is important to remember that some sections within this board are searchable by search engines. Although most of the site is accessible to registered members only, the following boards are NOT PRIVATE and anything posted there may be found by doing a search through Google or Bing or any other search engine:

    Public: Rules and Guidelines
    Public: Welcome!
    Public: Pretty Good Year
    Public: Resources
    Public: Feedback Dropbox

    The calendar is also searchable.

    To protect your privacy please follow guidelines already set out in individual forums. Do not use an identifiable username, or post email addresses. Do not post your full name or location that could be used to identify you.

    After Silence Moderators

  9. I just wanted to let everyone know that the administrators of the site know about this issue and they are working on getting it fixed. Unfortunately, it is taking longer than anticipated. Until then, please be patient and if you find yourself logged in as someone else log out right away.

    If you have posted anything under someone else's name please report the post and we can delete it.

    Thank you again for your patience and co-operation in keeping this site running smoothly while the administrators are working behind the scene to get this fixed. :)

  10. Welcome to AS 3lit3!

    I just want to repeat what everyone has said. If reading is all you can do at this time that is perfectly all right to do. I have written many, many posts and then could not hit the post button. Everyone does. There is no set time frame to post and no set time frame to work through all the emotions that a site like this can bring up. If reading is helping you then just read, you will find that over time that you will find your voice and be able to put into words what you want to say but there will never be pressure to do so. It will happen when it happens.

    A lot of people use the "Humor and Silliness" forum to get comfortable on the site and learn how it all works. You can make one word answers in many of them. It is just all fun and some days the posts in them move very quickly. :)


  11. Hi Dodder,

    Welcome to AS. There are lots of people here that understand what it is you are going through. I hope that your rough patch smooth over quickly. Don't be afraid to jump in or ask questions.


  12. Aliveinthed, welcome to AS. For many people it takes years or even decades before they can begin to find some healing. I am 50 and I joined only 3 years ago to begin my healing journey for something that happened when I was 5. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever done to open up and face what had happened. There are many supportive people here that understand what you are going through. I wanted to let you know that you aren't alone.

  13. Welcome to AS Adler. I have had some setbacks on this journey, there will be setbacks. Just remember that as you work through it and learn how to handle the feelings that come up the setbacks don't take you back to square one. It is two steps forward and one step back but it is still moving forward. Just keep working on getting better knowing that it does get better. That is what keeps me going.

  14. Hi CookingGnome,

    Welcome to AS!

    It took me 43 years to start talking when buried memories started coming back. You aren't alone waiting all that time. I spent a lot of time reading here and asking a lot of questions. There are a lot of good people here.

  15. I think that deleting a banned account isn't the thing to do. We have to remember that we are on a forum where anything can be triggering to someone and perfectly harmless to someone else. Many of the people who have been banned in the past, (not all but many), have had posts that were helpful to others and if we deleted all their posts we would lose that too. Many threads would not make sense if we delete the content that they contributed.

    I think just having the "Banned" avatar should be enough warning that there could be triggering content in what was posted. After all,they have been banned for a reason.

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