Panther

Safe hug  if ok?

im sorry it's like that for u.

I can just about cope with my parents (safe peoples who I live with) telling me occasionally that they love me, my brothers could probably get away with it if it was an emotional time. But anyone else? Heck no, I hate it! It makes me feel really awkward and put on the spot. My ex used to tell me he loved me (he was a bad man) and used to make me say it back. But my awkwardness and refusal to say I loved anyone stemmed from much earlier... I don’t feel many emotions and the ones I do feel are rarely strong enough to act on (schizoid personality disorder).

I hate being told someone loves me partly because it is expected for you to return the sentiments (and love is sadly not an affection I feel so it would be a lie or at least an empty gesture) and partly because it makes me cringe and feel really anxious.

Can definitely understand that!  I think, for me, it depends on the person. 

Be gentle with yourself.  Here if you ever need to talk.