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Why can't I believe or feel that anyone will ever truly love me?
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There's an old movie from before I was born. It's called "Pretty Woman". In that movie Julia Roberts plays a prostitute. There's a famous scene in the movie where she is complimented and then she says "the bad things are easier to believe".
If we are told we are stupid, ugly, unworthy, etc, we will start to believe that's the truth. Eventually we are tricked into thinking that we KNOW those things are true. The same thing happens when we tell ourselves we are stupid, ugly or unworthy. Sometimes we get so used to being lonely or get so used to a repetitive cycle of being a "bum magnet", that we forget that we are WORTHY of more. When we start to doubt we are worthy of happiness, love and companionship, we wonder stuff like will anyone "ever truly love me".
We are our own worst enemies. Not as much because we are mean to ourselves, but because we don't challenge the negative beliefs that others send our way. When we don't challenge those negative feelings, the question of things like, will anyone "ever truly love me", become oppressive. It all becomes a self-destructive cycle empowered by doubt, fear and circumstance.
I suspect, like many, many other people, you have difficulty believing or feeling other people will ever truly love you, because somewhere along the lines, circumstance and negative influence has caused you to view yourself as less worthy than you really are. I also suspect to a degree, some of the love you have for yourself has also been damaged.
I want you to know, you are worthy. You are valuable. You are lovable. You are deserving of true love from others and from YOURSELF. Never forget that.