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Everything posted by CopperPhoenix

  1. My name is Andi, one of Copper's Insiders. I know the rules of After Silence, and I will do my utmost to heed them. In this post I briefly mention SI. I have been around for a while, but deep Inside. I handed the first T the body went to...or at least the first who was worth the ink on her diploma. So it makes perfect sense to me (and my sense of balance) that I first resurface on the way to Aqua's. I like Aqua. We (me and Copper mostly) raised some very serious questions to her, and got some solid answers. It's not often that you can get a real, honest, answer out of a therapist, espec
  2. Today needed comfort food, so I cooked Low and Slow Chicken.
  3. I did a crossword puzzle while I waited on my ride to T.
  4. Haven't done it yet, but am debating fixing an actual meal for my bedtime snack. Haven't eaten much today and am actually hungry! Anyhow, for me today I sat and messed around on Pintrest for 2+ hours.
  5. Woke up feeling funky, so we stayed home and slept rather than going to the House of Worship.
  6. Skye here. I am one of Copper's Insiders. I know the rules and will adhere to them as best I can. This post carries a large TW. Tuesday's flashback was bad enough. Not much for details, but long on emotion. Days later and I can still feel Jet's cane coming down across my shoulders! But today...lord. We uncovered another part of why all of us hate being so cold. Can I get a ticket for Egypt, please??? 'Cause I want to go swimming in DeNile. Copper panicked halfway into the FB, so I rode (and wrote) it out. I really want to tear up those pages. Remembering a beating courtesy of Jet was
  7. I took physical care of myself (selves) after the double-whammy of T and a massive FB. Wrapped in a blanket with stuffies and our special hat that Aqua gave us. And I just stayed in my room after poking my head out to let New know we're okay. But mostly I stayed put and looked at pretty stuff on Pintrest.
  8. Writer, I do not know who you are, only that you are one of my Company of Insiders. If I could, I would say this to you directly, but I can't. Still. Thank you. The Dreamer read and heard your words. And I am thinking. -C
  9. Thanks, Angie. And feel free to call Jet and Rev anything you like-- even Teacher calls Rev an asshole from time to time! You are right, anger was never an emotion any of us were allowed to express. Any rebellion at all was rapidly snuffed out. I think it shocked Rev the first time I (and it was me that time!) really fought back. I screamed his insults right back...but he was still bigger, and the end was still ugly. But I think it shocked him when his tame little broken thing proved it had claws! As to that little featherbrained starlet... *sigh* I know she's young, and very sheltered.
  10. Skye here. One of Copper's Insiders. I know the rules and will heed them. *****This post carries a lot of Trigger Warnings, including CSA, and religion. You have been warned***** I just saw a bit on TV about some idiotic little starlet who is publicly announcing her plan to remain a virgin until her wedding night. She flaunted her credentials as a Christian and the values her (too-exposed reality TV show) family. She posted a list of tips on her blog...cute, really. She says to stay out of your boyfriend's bedroom, and keep him out of yours. Because "All alone in a bedroom with the doo
  11. Skye here. I'm one of Copper's Insiders. I know the rules of AS and will do my best to adhere to them. I hate it when Aqua gets sick. And I'm about ready to stop scheduling podc appoints on Tuesday mornings so we can see Aqua in the afternoon (thus saving a trip). Virtually every time we have tried to make that work, we've got a call from Aqua's office saying she's unwell. Like today. Fortunately, I'm in decent shape. Most of us leader-types are. With one blazing exception. Copper. I was able to coax her to the surface long enough to eat a donut....though it took quite a bit to call her
  12. I remember you, Real. Welcome back
  13. Skye here. One of Copper's Insiders. I know the rules of AS and do my best to heed them. Blog time. So that's why she's been running like that. Fear. Our Copper is scared out of her wits, and responding the only way she knows how. She runs. There's also a nasty little whisper of Rev lurking in her ears, telling her that if she's not working she doesn't deserve to be. Nice man, that Rev. But mostly, she's afraid. Afraid of the Work we need to do. Afraid she's not strong enough to handle the truly gruesome memories. Afraid she'll crack under pressure. Afraid that if she stops working,
  14. Hey, Sarah. I'm glad you read my post. We did nudge Copper until she "made a mess with paint" (her words). Even 3/4 burned out, girl's still a standout artist! Maybe I can talk her into making a gallery of her art on here somewhere... You are right, we all need those basics. Me and Skye are working out a way to make sure they get met...and take that off of Copper. Elf already handles all the grocery shopping and most of the cooking (I love to cook but tend to set off smoke alarms! ) But now I guess we have to pay attention and not let her work more than X hours at a stretch. Thanks a
  15. I am one of Copper's Insiders, but am not wiling to disclose my name. Regardless, I know the rules of AS and heed them. (Poetry post) The Dreamers dream, The Speakers speak, The Visionaries See; Living out a golden prayer For all the world to share But then we're home And all alone Who pays attention then? It matters not how powerful; We still are flesh and bone The Speakers speak The Dreamers dream Like lampstands on a hill Open-handed, generous So all can drink their fill Blazing power can take a toll But the public never sees The Speaker, Dreamer, Poet, slip And crumble to her knees The in
  16. My name is Mally and I am one of Copper's Insiders. I know the rules and will do my best to heed them. (Even though she was part of today's events, Skye is too wiped to write. She knows I plan to post. Enough disclaimers. Time to blog.) Today was a Teacher day. Now, I have taken a liking to that particular person and even on days (like today) that we plan on letting Copper do most of the work, I tend to lurk nearby. Today's prompt was to "Draw something you like to do, something that makes you happy." I had something right away. So did Skye (who tends to lurk nearby when Teacher's around
  17. Right. I even took the extreme bare minimum of need-to-survive stuff to my House of Worship today (meds, a couple of toys, sketchbook, journal) just to feel safe. It didn't change anything at all...but I felt a little bit more in control of my world. Thanks for the comment!
  18. Copper here, posting with Skye's okay. (Role reversal, anyone!?!?) Obviously I know the rules, etc. On to the blog. This is kind of a follow up to Skye's Jitters post. Yeah, I am on a major cleaning binge. And I have been working to pack stuff that I know I'd be shattered to leave behind. But you'd have to know both me and my room pretty damn well to tell what is missing or moved. Should anyone ask, we do have an inspection coming up; I'm just doing my bit to get the house ready. That does not change the fact that I feel a very strong urge to be ready to move. To be able to pull up st
  19. Thanks, Fallen. We compromised, added a change of clothes and other basics to our everyday backpack. It didn't add much weight, and we all feel better knowing we've got an escape hatch. We're all familiar with PTSD jitters. That's what has us on edge this time-- it doesn't feel like that. Nor does it feel like "normal" anxiety. Whatever it is, it eased up as we packed (and made a few other contingency plans). The jittery-ness is still there, but not nearly as pronounced. I guess all we can do now is stay tuned to see what happens... Thanks again for commenting! -Skye
  20. Skye here, one of Copper's Insiders. I know the rules and will adhere to them. I've got a bad case of the jitters and I don't know why. Maybe I'm still stinging from the mess with MM. I don't do humility well, and while well-deserved, Teacher's reprimand stung. Stings. More likely, it's the time of year. Our anniversary (Phoenix Day, we call it 'cause we rose out of our ashes when we fled) was yesterday. Everywhere I look I see Rev. I know he's not here. I know full well he has no reason to be here. But still I see him. And every time, I panic. Thank God Copper's got a steady head o
  21. Skye here. I'm one of Copper's Insiders. I know the rules and will follow them. This post discusses religion. That earns it a TW just on principle. Also, this is an extremely sensitive spot of mine. Please keep that in mind if you choose to comment. I'm sad. Very sad, There are a lot of different faith paths practiced in the Company. We've got pagans, we've got some who are just "spiritual", at least one who identifies as a White Witch, a few atheists. And several of us follow the path of Christ. I can't call myself a Christian anymore. The gap I see between the Word and the deeds
  22. Skye here. I think we all know that I am one of Copper's Insiders and that I know and follow the rules of AS. Enough disclaimers already. First off, I'm sorry for not posting anything in so long. It has been hectic in this corner of the world...both Inside and out. What's been going on, you may ask? Hold on to your hair. This is gonna be a wild ride. First, new Insiders. Mally, who is easily as strong as me or Copper...and as different from us as chalk and cheese. Or maybe (Mally's metaphor) we're as different as Macs and PC's. We can't manage full co-consciousness with her. When we'v
  23. This is Skye, one of Copper's Insiders. I know the rules and will adhere to them. Copper is close to her breaking point. I'm not that far myself. But I am willing to accept some stuff she's struggling with. A new Insider, who has chosen the pseudonym Mally manifested in T today. Manifested like a freaking hurricane! Copper barely had enough warning to tell Aqua that someone new was surfacing and to brace herself. Wise words from my Insider sister. 'Cause Mally's manifestation took her right out of "our" chair and scrambling into the far corner of Aqua's office. I have seen some impres
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