hereforhim

Secondary Survivors
  • Content count

    25
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About hereforhim

  • Rank
    secondary

Profile Information

  • Gender Female
  • Location southeast US

Previous Fields

  • MembershipType Supporter or secondary survivor

Contact Methods

  • ICQ 0
  1. Searching For Help As Secondary

    Hi becky, Sorry for your troubles..i too am a female secondary...not many of us here...it is definitely a tough spot you are in...i haven't been here in quiet a while but am struggling again so thought I'd come back and check in with an understanding secondary i met Gere and saw your post...I'd be happy to talk with you. I mostly use pm or email....not completely comfortable sharing out in public. Take care and best wishes to you and your husband.
  2. Searching For Help As Secondary

    Hi becky, Sorry for your troubles..i too am a female secondary...not many of us here...it is definitely a tough spot you are in...i haven't been here in quiet a while but am struggling again so thought I'd come back and check in with an understanding secondary i met Gere and saw your post...I'd be happy to talk with you. I mostly use pm or email....not completely comfortable sharing out in public. Take care and best wishes to you and your husband.
  3. Searching For Help As Secondary

    Looking forward to hearing from you Maley and to talking to other secondaries as well.
  4. Hi, I'm New

    Go home and let him take care of those feelings. My husband does that for me and I do it for him when he is turned on by an attractive female. Before we met my ideal physical apperance was a tall dark haired, dark skinned man. My husband is tall and faired skinned and red/brown hair. He knows that my ideal still turns me on though I would never act on those feelings---so he takes care of that arousal----and does it quite well I might add. Once I was with one of his female, co-workers and we were watching a group of people working with children at a school event and one of them was so good-looking in my book and I commented and fanned myself a bit----and the other said "I'm going to tell your husband"-----I said go ahead and tell him and tell I'm bet waiting at home for him or if you don't tell him I'll call and tell him myself this afternoon. She thought I was nuts but I was just honest----you can't help who you find attractive---you can only control your reactions to that physical response.
  5. Hi, I'm New

    Looking is okay. And commitment, respect and friendship are all love----I'm sorry sex was ruined for you but those other things are more important to a good relationship and I hope you and your husband have those.
  6. First Post

    Hi Allen! Sounds like my husband---he put it away in a "box" and tried not to remember. Hope being here will help and hope you know it is not your fault. hereforhim
  7. New---secondary

    back at you!!! Tell me about that snail. I love critters! hereforhim
  8. New---secondary

    I'm so lucky to have him.
  9. New---secondary

    Thanks Found, Yes, the site has been helpful while I was lurking with reading and learning. Thanks for the welcome.
  10. New---secondary

    Hi, I've been lurking around for a while--reading and learning. I'm not a new secondary- I'm just new here. ---my survivor told me years ago about his attack---we are just dealing with it because he/we really didn't back then. I've PM'd a few folks and have only recently posted something in public but thought since I had now done that I should let everyone know who I am and why I'm here. hereforhim
  11. Hello All!

    Hi Healingchange, I'm a secondary survivor. My husband is about your age so I know a bit of what you are going through. There is still so much I don't understand though. His being on a forum like this has been helpful---hope you will find this helps you too. Take care and continue to be brave and strong (know you are those things because you have survived and you are reaching out to others). hereforhim
  12. Hello

    Hello, I am sorry for your son's situation and his pain. And I know a bit of your pain---though different. I sent you a PM. Please check you messages and let me know if I can help.