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Everything posted by Mischievous

  1. I haven't read the replies yet but wanted to add my two cents. I would have greatly appreciated the chance to relinquish my clothing to go with the rape kit after my assault (I wanted as much evidence and documentation as possible). But from what I remember I was told the space for storing the kits was limited and they couldn't accept the clothes I had been wearing. (To be clear I don't believe there was any evidence on my clothes. I just would have felt better if I had given them everything to hold onto. Better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.) I did however giv
  2. First, I want to congratulate you on your courage to talk about what was done to you. I can't possibly overstate that. You are VERY brave for finding this site, and posting your story. For most people, just stating the fact that they have been raped can be very difficult. Add in society's views on males, their masculinity, rape myths and views that woman are some how magically exempt from being perpetrators because they don't have a penis and it becomes painfully clear to me how much you are having to fight against. Please know this is a safe place and you have every right to your
  3. Thinking of you.... :hug:


    I hope life is treating you well. 

    You deserve the best. :bighug:


  4. Thank you for the advice John. And thank you SO MUCH for working so hard to help everyone have access to the boards!!! You mods and admins ROCK!!
  5. also having problems. sometimes i can log in, other times not. not sure what to make of it..... and when i try to post to a topic, while signed in, it won't post.... so i refresh the page, then it tells me i'm not logged in and need to log in to post! but then i can't log in! - i will put in my info, click log in, and then nothing! ... just... same page asking me to log in.... very confusing.... ------ edit: woot! it worked that time! yeesh.......
  6. Welcome to AS. I am sorry for why you are here, but glad that you found us. I hope you find what you need, and continue to reach out. There are many people on here who are just like you and want to heal and others who have healed and want to help others. This is a safe place. And I am really glad you have found us.
  7. Welcome to After Silence! I am sorry for the reason you are here but glad you have found us. We have a great thriving online support group here and you are always welcome Just know that you are not alone. We are all survivors here and know what it's like to feel alone and as if the world doesn't understand or have a clue...
  8. So I noticed that there is a thread on 'Sexual Assault: Different Types' for SA with out violence... Is it possible to have a thread on there for SA that included/involved violence? Talking to some members on here makes me feel like I'm in the minority of those who got hurt physically as part of the SA... And sometimes I feel like I'm also one of the minority who tried to fight back or resist physically and got hurt because of it... While all rapes are horrible and damaging, not all included physical violence. I would like for there to be a place where I don't feel so alone or the odd o
  9. Welcome angel23! I'm sorry for the reason you have to be here, but glad that you found us. As far as "properly" using the site, use it as you need it. Read other's stories. Read their posts about their life and issues, share some of your own, feel free to ask for advice/help, and know that you are not alone. You will find people here who understand and know exactly what you are going through, because we have gone through it ourselves. I hope you find this site as useful and helpful as I have. Welcome.
  10. I did this a long time ago when I first joined this site, 4 months ago... While the words I said then are still true, and how I still feel to a certain extent... Recently I have been feeling a lot of other things, and I'm just now realizing what some of the core roots of my problems in general are. And considering my very strong fears that have finally bubbled up to the surface after everything.... I think I have new words. "Please, stay away from me." Just thinking about him scares me so much....
  11. OOooooo-kay.... *THAT* was weird. i was just typing out a post when all of a sudden my "skin" (didn't even know we had those!!!) suddenly changed in mid-type to "spring fling!". That was not pleasant.... i like the concept of it, but WAY too many different colors. And the little boxes for everyone's post was so frigging big/long!!!! i could feel my whole head doing that egyptian back and forth thing trying to read the posts. Creatures of habit indeed. Fortunately I managed to find the skins and put it back on "lotus", which is the one I've been used to and using for the past 4 months.
  12. This is a great idea! I hope it gets changed.
  13. That's not a bad idea betty, but I don't feel yet like I'm "further along my healing journey" yet. And it could also possibly alienate others who are brand new and are still dealing with a lot of the trauma? Maybe I am just being selfish, but I really want a forum just for members to make their own public, about-me diaries. I just think it would make getting to know everyone SO much easier. Just my 2 cents.
  14. I was thinking about it the other day, and thought it would be great to have a forum where each member could post a topic and it would be all about them, what's going on, how they are doing each day, what's new in their lives, etc. Kinda like a public online diary. It could either be set up to only allow the topic starter to add new posts/replies to their Diary Topic, or it could allow others to reply as well. Either way really, I could see the benefit of both. But essentially it would be an easy way to let the whole board get to know someone. And it would be really easy for the member/topic
  15. Oh awesome! YAY! I do feel so much better. Thank you all. I was worried it was a permanent change. lol.
  16. I also just sent a message to the chat admin. Didn't even think of doing that, thank you karen.
  17. Already posted in the chat room forum about this under the 'problems' topic, but I will re-post this here since it seems appropriate. This is to the admin/moderators: Ok. I have a problem with the chat. The chat room has recently been changed, so that now we can no longer change the color of our texts/writing. If there are only 2 people in there this isn't such a big deal. But with even just 4 people in there it makes it very difficult to keep up with who is saying what, it's harder to keep everyone's words separate. It takes twice as long to figure out who is saying what, and if you missed
  18. Hi Chickaree! It sucks that you were pressured to join After Silence. (though it sounds like your loved ones really care about you and want you to heal/get better) And it's perfectly fine to be scared! That's normal! But I am SO proud of you for doing it anyways, because it IS really hard, and posting things that are so personal out into the internet can be a little bit daunting. I'm still not ready to post personal details about myself, not even my age yet. But that's what's so great about AS: It's anonymous. You can share as much, or as little as you want, it's your choice. You will
  19. Kyzark, Thank you for your information. I am so sorry that that happened to you. Nobody deserves this to be forced on them, especially not children. However, I've been going over all my options thoroughly and reporting to the police is not in my best interest. While reporting and pressing charges may not be the same exact thing, once you DO report the incident what the police do with that report is up to them, not you, including if they want to press charges. It would not be me vs. him, it would be the state vs. him and I would be a 'witness.' To not have control over what happens in court
  20. I have. This is such an amazing place to be. It helps make me feel calm and not feel so alone. (Even though there are those times where all the stories and accumulated hurt from here seems like just too much to read/bare and I need that 'quiet time' away from the boards.)
  21. Welcome Laura! This is a wonderful place, I hope find it as supportive and helpful as I have.
  22. Just had to share again, if I had a diary I'd be writing in that. Just grabbed some last minute supplies for Xmas eve. Think I just had a panic attack at the store. There were so many people and too many men near me, I ended up hiding in a corner of the store where there weren't that many people and I could see anybody who tried to approach me. Eventually I calmed down some and collected myself long enough to be able to check out. This place has been like a life line for me. A place to express myself and share my troubles. I feel a little better now locked inside my car and posting this f
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