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Secondary Survivors
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Everything posted by brobbitt

  1. Hi Bluejean and welcome to the site. "I have come here to get some outside support and opinions about my predicament from people who are not parcial to me". If I can help at all then feel free to PM me, or via open mail. Best wishes with it all Brian
  2. Hi Hannie, welcome to the site. I dont know if you know it or not, but there is an excellent U.S site for survivors of PTSD, that gives some excellent insights and support tips (I found the videos facinating and inspiring). If you want to take a look it is here www.ncptsd.va.gov/ncmain/index.jsp Take a look in the info centre for starters. Good luck with it Hannie and welcome again Brian
  3. Welcome to the group. I hoep this place brings all that you hope for yourself. Brian
  4. I hear your great desire to move forward from where you find yourself. Experiencing yourself as dying inside 10 years ago felt so terrible to me upon hearing it, the desolation of nothingness within :o( I believe that human beings have something within called the actualising tendency. An inner light, the very spark that means, we, as human beings, aspire to a higher level of functioning, to be and to feel the best that we can be and feel. Terrible experiences such as yours shatter that light, turn it into a tiny flame, flickering in that dark place that has been shattered, the flame doused b
  5. Thanks so much for your lovely comments everyone. Brian
  6. Just a line to say Hi to everyone who knows me. Uni is out at the moment so I'm back for a little while. Have been working hard at Uni (only one year and a bit left) and have established my own private counselling practice at the same time (As well as working full time - blinkin exhausted :o). Never forgot the place that gave me the strength to go on and do all of this I.E 'here'. So sad to see the note relating to Meg :o( It goes without saying that she was a truly lovely human being and there aren't enough Megs in the world these days, which means she will be doubly missed :o( Hoping
  7. Hi Sonnet and welcome to the group. Hope it brings that which you seek.. Brian
  8. Hi Kath, welcome to the group.. "This is my first entry and am nervous just typing!" You have been very brave, well done you!! "I had always imagined it to be a strange man jumping out from behind a bush on a dark night dragging me away kicking and screaming but it wasnt like that at all when it did happen." And so sadly you now know that its generally the complete opposite of this :o( So as well as trying to deal with everything else, you may also have had your faith in humankind shaken too :o( "I blame myself for not kicking and screaming and i keep making excuses for my perpetrator eve
  9. Hi and Welcome to A.S, "My main concern about me being here...is why do I need to be here? It's been 7 months. It seems like so long ago, yet it bothers me everyday." I guess if something within you suggests that you may need to be here, to experience some empathy and support for a while then its probably right to trust those feelings.. "It wasn't a violent act where he physical force. He more coerced me into doing it. But I did it, so does it count? I'm so confused. He didn't rape me. He almost did. I hope I can find support here...because some of my friends have kind of abandoned me or
  10. Hi Bohica and welcome to the group, so hope you find that which you seek here! "I am about to start a new round of therapy to get to the deepest, darkest, nastiest things that were left over from all the other therapy. I can't blame the counselors from before; they didn't know as much about the effects as they do now. WE (and others like us) are the ones who give them their insight." As a counsellor I couldn't agree more with your final comments. If only all counsellors could be humble enough to recognise this and that clients never fit into neat little packages and if only all clients coul
  11. brobbitt


    Hi and welcome to the goup.. What a sad story, sounds like that little boy should be here too doesn't it :o( Hope you find the things you seek here and welcome again Brian
  12. Hi and welcome to the group..hope it brings that which you seek.. Brian
  13. Hi and welcome to the group, "I don't really talk about this, so this is pretty hard for me. " And in this you are a reflection of how it may be for many other survivors too :o( "I'm 36 years old and have pretty well dealt with everything but sometimes just want to talk to someone." I'm glad you have found this place and hope that you find the support that you are looking for here. I think you will. "I was molested when I was about 8 years old by a neighbor, a female teenager. Started slowly then escalated over a couple of years. I've always known what happened and have firm memories of
  14. I am in total awe of the wisdom and level of self understanding that exists within this group. The responses above are fantastic !!! Brian
  15. Do you know, the things that we need to say to ourselves are generally much more profound and important than anything we need to say to others. In coming here you are in a sense connecting with yourself, being kind to yourself, listening to yourself... This is a real starting point. You have every right to be here!! Brian
  16. Hi Dayzy and welcome to the group... "It feels like this is what I do my entire life. I find where I am safe, I hide there... and only sometimes do I feel that I'm safe enough to look out from behind where I'm hiding to see what the rest of the world is doing." So you rarely allow people to see the real you? But here you are being brave, daring to show yourself and what everyoine here see's is more than good enough. Given how difficult this must have been for you, well done to you fir being brave.. "It doesn't feel as though there is anyone in my world who can understand what it is I try to
  17. Not sure that saying 'hi dopey' quite sounds right somehow :o)..but hi anyway and welcome to the grouplll Well done on finding the courage to write and hope to hear more from you from here on in now..the first time is always the most difficult.. Welcome again brian
  18. Hi and welcome to the group.. "I'm in a weird situation right now. I'm not able to see my therapist as much as I need, and not really able to go "home" because I've for the most part been severed from my family." So your feeling a little isolated right now :o( "I have just finally come to a point where I'm willing to consider talking specifics. Through all the therapy I've had, I've never told anyone what happened and have limited my explainations of how it made/makes me feel. So, I'm kind of in limbo, considering my options." It must have been so very difficult carrying all of this aro
  19. Hi leann and welcome to the group.. "When it comes to what happened, I don't like to go into a lot of detail. I was born with a picture memory so I can recall almost every detail of what happened to me." :o( "All of this began when I was 9. I had a cousin who babysat me for nearly 2 years. From age 9 to 11 he molested me and made me do things that were unspeakable. Luckily, he never did anything that woudl jepeordize my virginity." These must be incredibly painful memories for you right now o( "I dealt with the pain from that for years, and it was really hard for me to get close to
  20. Hi Star, firstly you are very welcome here.. "I found this site the other day and I keep finding myself looking at it as it helps me feel understood." If all you get is this, and that helps, then that is something isn't it.. "The thing is, I don't know what I am doing here, because I don't know for certain if I am a survivor or not. I wish I knew, I wish I had evidence. All I have is patchy memories. Sometimes I remember things, tell my therapist, then forget them again and she reminds me weeks later and its like a real shock." In my own work with clients, we have little more to work on th
  21. Hi Sarah and welcome to the site. You too have been very brave, important not to forget that ... Brian
  22. Hi and welcome to the group, I hope you find that which you seek here!! Sounds like some tough times have been had :o( Sorry about your friend! hopefully in time you can come to terms with all of this and the self harming can become a distant memory too, I so hope so for you.. Brian
  23. Hi Melody and welcome to the group, "I'm 21 years old, and female. For the last three years I've been in college studying psychology. During those three years I've been the perfect student (deans list, straight A's, honors society etc), but my professors have been telling me over and over again that if I didn't start taking care of my own mental health I was going to burn out. Well, they were right. In my quest for straight A's I stopped taking care of myself all together." No doubt in your three years of psychology training you will have worked on human 'defence mechanisms', I wondered... t
  24. brobbitt


    Hi Arttu, A number of things you can suggest to your girlfriend , but only she can really do something about it. E.g. It may be useful for your girlfirend to join this site and speak to the many others who have been where she is right now. There are lots of helping books on the subject (a number are listed on the help pages of this site, a key book is 'The Courage to Heal', I can't remember the author name right now and so maybe someone else here can help me out), or there is Therapy (lots of voluntary organisations in the U.K, if she asks at her local doctors surgey then they should be able
  25. Hi and welcome to the group... things sound pretty hectic for you at the moment ! Brian
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