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timidone18

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    Survivor

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  1. Hi lisa i am timid. i am glad you found this place and i hope it is as healing to you as it is to me. and anxiety classes may be tough but just stick with it. facing our fears and making them realities is always hard but with hard work and dedication you will see that you can recover and you have help here. if you need me my pm box is open timid
  2. Welcome to AS! please feel free to share anything you want. nothing is too stupid or too small! congratulations on starting your journey and going to therapy! that in itself is amazing!! you have already completed pretty much all of the first steps and that alone speaks volumes! if you need me im only 19 but i will do all i can to help! timid
  3. first off welcome to AS secret second. it is NOT your fault. we were all tricked by someone into thinking what they were doing was loving us. i fell for the same thing. it is NOTHING for you to be ashamed about. it is a building block. you are strong for wanting to share your pain and find healing. CONGRATULATIONS!!! you have taken the first step and laid down the first block! feel free to share ANY and EVERY thing! we are ALWAYS here to listen to you even if we dont know what to say! pm me any time!! timid
  4. thanks for the kind words. im having a rough time. i figure it will be this way for a while though. i dont know. i just take it a few secs at a time. cant even make a min yet. but im struggling on. but if he is found not guilty in court then im done. no more for me.
  5. I did not report mine and I regret it every day of my life.
  6. i just have always been told its not fair for me to complain about my situation when there is someone else out there that can be worse off than me. and its true. just sometimes i really want to let someon know how i feel ... that right now is just completely distant ..
  7. Thank you Duckie. I am trying to look up. Me and my room mate have TOTALLY different schedules. The only class we have together is band and then we go our separate ways again. Then one of us is left alone in the room. There is only so much laundry, tidying, and cleaning to be done and once that runs out I turn to here. A lot of the time I mess things up just so I can clean it back up again. My room mate is going to teach me how to crochet. Maybe that will help. I just have more drama than a soap opera going on in my life. Add college and trying to find a job and a few possibilities and ICK. I just want something GOOD to happen for a change. I mean really. Who in the world has worse luck than me? But then again that is not really fair of me to say ...
  8. I am mainly discouraged because I have been fighting this battle so long. Nothing seems to come out right. Nothing I do is right. I just feel like a big screw up. What brought me here is sexual abuse ... I was abused over a period of 13 yrs by many different people. It had taken its tole on me for so long that now I just feel accustomed to it in a sense?? I think maybe I am just being silly. Sometimes I feel like the biggest kid in the world. Not really that it is my fault, but I just want to stay hidden from society. More or less bc of feeling dirty. I have been working on it for so long. I have read books, done workbooks, done counseling, write, draw, and many other things. I am just ready for a change and I dont see one coming soon. ... That disheartens me.
  9. I am new here but I just wanted to let some feelings out. I have not long ago started college and I find the need to just vent some. I hope noone minds. I have found that something very simple can be so very deadly. Silence. That is the one thing that has forever haunted me. When I am alone or even when I am with a group of people things just pop into my head and it never ends. That one akward moment of silence can send me from social to just depressed in a matter of seconds. Every day I try so hard to fill my head with good thoughts that will change the way I feel. So far it has been quite a task. My room mate is amazing!! Yet I still find myself wanting to curl up and cry in the silence when it is time to go to sleep. I just don't know how to make things better. Can I maybe get some tips? I have been writing. I draw sometimes. Here where I am at though. It is in the middle of nowhere. Nothing to do but run and maybe swim on occasion. Thank you all for listening and I am sorry if that was just a mess. Just wrote what was in my head. Timid
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