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  1. Fair enough footnote. I am in a position where I am able to take that fact for granted, but I suppose not everyone does. The idea is to quit projecting personal experience onto everyone and try not to generalize. I think it is also handy to just stay on topic. If a thread is about rape culture and how men might justify their abusive actions toward women, I find it kind of rude when someone feels the need to pipe up and say "WELL YOU KNOW NOT ALL MEN ARE RAPISTS AND SOMETIMES WOMEN ARE, SO THERE." Yeah. I know. It's a topic worth discussing on a different thread, which I'd be happy to consider
  2. Cool! Then a hearty welcome to you. Lights are a speciality of ours, much valued because we know what dark is like.
  3. I agree wholeheartedly with this. Every time I see a post that suggests all men are basically fighting every day to stifle their natural-born inner rapist, I am SO tempted to hit the report button. Instead, I argue with as much tact as I can muster. I understand how hard it is to see men as safe when all your experience stacks up against them, and that is why we have forums for the separate genders. Women should feel safe venting or struggling with the nature of men versus what happened to us, while men should feel safe just being here, being themselves.
  4. ____ grew up in an abusive home too, but she grew out of it. She knows how to love. You don't. Everything you say and do - (pause as I punch him in the face, then immediately crumple into a ball and sob, shocked by what I just did - because I DON'T do that) I don't think you understand what I was trying to say, he said calmly. I let him continue, even though I knew what would come next: Everything you've said tonight indicates to me that you are nothing but a victim. It's all you'll ever be. I thought you'd be better by now. You're worse. Minutes later, I screamed to him that he was an abu
  5. I invited people to come do a puzzle with me! now lessee if anyone comes...
  6. Well, here are my views anyway, and thanks for the opportunity to express 'em, because it's something I've thought a lot about in the later stages of healing. I don't think anyone can heal completely. This is because life hurts. But wait! There's more! To completely heal, to me, is to finally be able to realize that everybody has pain. Everyone has some trauma they carry for their entire lives - and sometimes that trauma is a lack thereof, an inability to connect to others when they need human connection the most. To see the beauty in everybody having pain, everybody's mortality and vulnerabi
  7. the five words that always prevail inside of me are You are still my brother. I'm not sure why.
  8. Hullo. Name's Rebecca. Username comes from the word Hrodheid, from which the word Rose was derived... because I like roses a lot, but the name Rose is usually already taken. Hrodheid means bright flame/kind, which makes roses just that much more awesome. Anyhow. Things happened in 1999. Broke silence in 2006. Pressed charges in 2009. Haven't testified yet. Honestly I'm at a stage where I kind of prefer talking about it in the non-graphic/non-triggering forum, 'cause I'm damn sick of it. I have been for a while. None of us signed up to be victims or survivors. If you're capable of being anyth
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