Dear me,
You need to stop panicking so terribly and face your fears so you can finally live life the way you want to. Stop letting what that jack*** did hold you back from your dreams, because he didn't take away what makes you you. It's not your fault nor was it ever. Stop feeling like you're a terrible person because you aren't driving to his house, beating his a**, and preventing him from ever taking advantage of another person. I know that the more people you find out that he did this to the angrier you get and the more of a "hero" you want to be, but going to jail won't help you at all.