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  1. I was also dealing with acquaintance rape. Although it got labeled as Dating violence at the restraining order hearing. I didn't think it was romantic at all but I guess it looks like a date.I can honestly tell you, I DO NOT REGRET REPORTING IT TO THE POLICE! BUT I DIDN'T END UP GOING TO TRIAL. I WENT FOR A RESTRAINING ORDER INSTEAD FOR A LESS TRAUMATIC APPROACH SO HE NEVER CONTACT ME AGAIN OR BE TOO SCARED TO SINCE I TOOK HIM TO COURT. I didn't get that either due to the fact he stayed away for a bit and I told the judge I had forgiven him for doing this to me a few years before this time! Big mistake for the record!They don't let you say much either since they just want to know if he'll come back and harm you or stay away. You have to say the right things in order to convince the judge you need protection. I just wanted him to stay away after ruining my life as much as he did.The judge could tell he had done something wrong to me so she did tell him to stay away or he'll end up deported. That's the most I could do since I wasn't going to a rape trial.My therapist knows I reported it before seeing her, but she felt that more damage would be done in my situation if I proceed to a rape trial for date rape. She felt that my situation would be turned against me by prosecution even if the defense or psychologist can prove otherwise. The police told me after questioning that it may come out as "insufficient evidence" due to the lack of it, plus I let my abuser control me for a few days and rape me repeatedly. Then I was submissive and I let him do what he wanted since I wasn't sure if I was pregnant. If I was, I was going to marry him for the sake of the baby. I felt I allowed this to happen so I should deal with the consequences.I didn't know that I had other options and something could be done so I figured this was the only way to make it right. If I had known a little earlier that I should tell and something could be done, I WOULD DEFINITELY GO TO TRIAL! But I feel like the best thing you can do is AT LEAST report it to the police and see what happens after that!
  2. Invalidation. Words Can Hurt!

    Can you believe my aunt (uncle's wife) said this behind my back after I told her I knew him before: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SLEEP AROUND, YOU GET RAPED!! (Really? Cause I don't sleep around, I've had one boyfriend who threatened and stalked me a lot and plus this guy whose raped me multiple times) But thanks for ASSUMING this. Or how about : ONLY MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE GET RAPED!! DON"T HELP HER, IT'S TOO LATE FOR HER!! SHE"S ALREADY MENTALLY ILL!! (Oh i see, since my mother is mentally ill and psychotic, then it already passed down to me since I was raped multiple times by the same person?) That makes sense... Here's the WORST one she said to my father: IF SHE WAS SEXUALLY ABUSED AS A CHILD, SHE SHOULD KNOW HOW TO AVOID THESE SITUATIONS!! Actually, if you were educated or went through it yourself, you would know otherwise. It affects you more as time goes by if you never told adults or anyone in authority who can get you help. You actually become more secretive and quiet about these things since you never told on anyone before! You're not even sure who to trust or believe in! In fact, is it possible that this could've happened to you so you're in denial of it cause then that means a crime was committed against you too? How about when she passed by and heard me on the phone:WHAT KIND OF RAPE VICTIM WOULD TALK ABOUT A WEDDING?? For her info, I was in the bridal party and I had to drop out due to the situation being spread through gossip in the church thanks to my other aunt who has a big mouth and can't keep a secret from old judgmental ladies. They think you always have to be depressed and sad 24/7 and not talk to a friend about anything else but rape and sadness all day. I already had my streaks of deep depression that she missed. Maybe she would shut her mouth if she witnessed that!! AND WE'RE GOING TO FEEL EXTREMELY LONELY AND DEPRESSED WHEN WE'RE ALONE ANYWAY!! And she's never heard me on the phone when I am crying and sad in the room, so HOW CAN SHE JUDGE ME OFF OF ONE CONVO? I'm trying to feel and act normal again and she's here trying to convince me and everyone else that IT"S WRONG!!! I think she needs therapy....