From my mother: "Do you want to hang on to this until you're 50?" From the perp: "I quit smoking, and I quit doing things like that - why are you bringing this up now? It's been over for years." From a friend: "Why can't you let this go? You're not the only woman getting raped. Women in Africa are getting raped all the time." From another friend that didn't know my mother: "Do you want to still be dealing with this when you're older? You have to let go." From boyfriend after I told him that my mother was present and watching my step-father rape me when I was 12 (in the same conversation)- "Sometimes I see parts of your mother come out in you." He later told me that I had made him uncomfortable. No, I don't talk about it all of the time, but when I do I get comments like this. People like to see me smile and pretend that life is nothing but butterflies and rainbows.