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AKtomboy

Member
  • Content Count

    23
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About AKtomboy

  • Birthday 05/19/1989

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Interests
    I love to invent, create and re-imagine the world around me. I thrive on a creative atmosphere and try to push the limits of what is possible. I also spend a lot of time outdoors and allow myself to be taken in by the untamed wilderness.

Previous Fields

  • MembershipType
    Survivor

Recent Profile Visitors

360 profile views
  1. Thank you all for your support so far. I have found everyone to be so helpful and having a voice, even through typing, has been very theraputic. I have gotten myself into therapy and I feel I'll make a lot of progress with the therapist I found. I've found a little extra strength at least knowing I have that level of support. I'm also making stronger friendships by not allowing unhealthy people to consume my life. I know its not going to be an easy path of healing, but I know its going to be the best things for me in the long run. I'm ready to take the challenge head on. Thank you all!
  2. I have tried a lot of meditation and personal introspection but I find it hard to stay with. In all honesty I have lived most of my life up to this point in denial telling myself the world is beautiful and everything that happened to me wasn't that bad. Any time I had flashbacks it would bring me back to the reality of the situation and cause me to plummet into depression. So it was easier to keep telling myself lies. My family has perpetuated this by constantly ignoring the issue, pretending it didn't happen or by minimizing the events. Its a terrible coping mechanism and I'm ready to do away with it and actually confront my issues head on. I know it will be hard, but unfourtunately I have no support system to help me through it. Sadly, my best friends who know my story and support me the most both live in Germany. They are amazing friends and an awesome resource when I am able to contact them, but I have no immediate support. I just moved to a new city and I don't know anyone outside of my fellow coworkers. I have decided to try and find a therapist as I have accepted I can't do this on my own. I'm looking around and hopefully I'll find one I feel comfortable with. Until things fall into place I was hoping to use this forum to feel a little less alone. I want to be finally be able to open up about my experiences to people who really understand and are willing to listen and help. I just feel so isolated with my problems and I wanted to be able to get a lot of thoughts out of my mind in a safe place. Thanks everyone for your support so far!
  3. Welcome! I hope this will be a great outlet for you. I too am a new member and I'm looking for similar support. I share in your struggles with intimacy, avoidence of relationships and people making up rumors to explain my singleness. Societal norms definately make it a hard position to be in as there is constant pressure to be with someone. People insist on playing match maker and you find yourself helpless to explain why their good intentions are not helpful. I find it to be one of the biggest stresses in my life since most people can't seem to leave it alone. I too am struggling on this path so I'm not much help but I hope it offers you some reassurance to know that you are not alone.
  4. I am 25 and it has been 13 years since my childhood SA and I'm simply exhausted with the anxiety, confusion, and doubt that I still live with every day. I have no good outlet for my angst and I feel its finally time to do something about it so I'm here just looking for a little support. I have always had an erradic lifestyle filled with overworking myself, stretching myself thin fullfilling social obligations, and generally neglecting to take care of myself. I've been living this way for way too long and I guess its just time for me to stop living in denial and actually trying to become a survivor instead of struggling to get by. I have been able to work myself through a lot of my own issues up to this point but this is the first time I feel I won't be able to help myself. Sadly I've had many bad experiences with therapists so its a path I'm hesitant to go down again. I'm just looking for the support of people who can really understand what I'm going through and become my positive outlet and help me feel a little less alone with my struggles.
  5. I am 25 and it has been 13 years since my childhood SA and I'm simply exhausted with the anxiety, confusion, and doubt that I still live with every day. I have no good outlet for my angst and I feel its finally time to do something about it so I'm here just looking for a little support. I have always had an erradic lifestyle filled with overworking myself, stretching myself thin fullfilling social obligations, and generally neglecting to take care of myself. I've been living this way for way too long and I guess its just time for me to stop living in denial and actually trying to become a survivor instead of struggling to get by. I have been able to work myself through a lot of my own issues up to this point but this is the first time I feel I won't be able to help myself. Sadly I've had many bad experiences with therapists so its a path I'm hesitant to go down again. I'm just looking for the support of people who can really understand what I'm going through and become my positive outlet and help me feel a little less alone with my struggles.
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