i do that too
all the time sometimes
i watch suv criminal minds wire in the blood etc also, read torey haydens and similar books etc, horror films, books about serial killers, heaps and heaps of research on csa.
partly because these things are my normal, and too me doing these things is a normalising behaviour. when my adhd gets out of control, and the dissociation kicks in and ptsd is uncopable with the things that bring me back down, that settle me, that balance me and ground me are these triggery things.
i have spent most of my life only remembering parts of memories. the reality