The past couple years I had wanted to read my mom and grandma's journal they kept from when stuff was happening and I had finally mentioned. And a home video my dad left here when I had been seeing him. I guess I wanted to see if there was anything I didn't remember or if the things I did know matched up. The one thing I still can't bring myself to do is watch the movie Annie. But for the past year or so I've been avoiding matters more or less not wanting anything to do with it. Then things started coming back without warning and my friends are worried and I just want it to be over. So I'm working to the point of facing my fears and flashbacks and nightmares and hopefully getting over them.