Littlegoose

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About Littlegoose

  • Birthday 06/23/1983

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  • Gender Female
  • Location Crawley, UK

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  • MembershipType Survivor

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  1. Did You Regret Reporting It? Where You Glad?

    I didn't have a choice. I called my best friend hysterical as soon as I had got away from them and she told me that if I didn't report it she would hang up and call the police herself, she said I owed it to other women and potential victims to report it (felt like a bit of the guilt trip to me at the time). Sometimes I wish she had just calmed me down and let me go to bed like I wanted to but other times I am glad I was not given the choice. It took 18 months to get to court and 2 of them were found guilty in May this year, if the 3rd guy re-surfaces (he ran home to Tunisia) he will also get the same 10 year sentence as the other 2. I sit and wonder sometimes if things would have been different if I had not reported. My relationships with family and friends suffered and I lost a few friends who either didn't know how to support me or didn't want to! As for family it has destroyed my relationship with my sister as she just doesn't know how to talk to me anymore (We used to be so close she was known as my shadow) She wanted me to talk to her about it but I felt by not talking to her I was protecting her from the horrors of what they put me through, she was also a whitness at trial as she was the first person to see me when I got home, but it has brought me and my 2 brothers a lot closer together. My older brother and I have always had a very strained relationship ever since we were children, as we were close in age there has always been huge sibling rivalry. My little brother was my rock throughout the trial and I probably would not have got through it without him, he is nearly 6 years younger than me and when it happened he was only just 20. For my own sanity I am now concentrating on turning the negative into something positive by lobbying for facilities in my area to deal with this sort of crime as there are NO councelling facilities for sexual violence in my town, but it is a regular occurance judging by the local papers. I'm still undecided about whether I should have reported, as it has still brought a lot of pain, sorrow and heartache to me and my family. Although they were found guilty I still feel like the justice they got was not enough and could never compare to what they put me through, in 10 years time when they are released (well, they will serve half that) they can start again, a clean slate, a new life, I have always got this in my head and have to deal with it daily. When I'm having a good day I am glad with the outcome of reporting, when I am having a bad day I wonder if it really was all worth it. I had an amazing legal team and the police where fantastic, they kept me up to date all the way through and called sometimes just to see how I was doing. When I was giving my statement it took 2 days along with the examinations and stuff, but they were brilliant and let me take my time and stop when I wanted to. Court was the toughest thing I have ever endured and I would never be able to go through that again, I remember walking out of court when I finished giving my evidence and I felt empty like I had given it all I could and I had no fight left, but I did my best and it paid off. Whatever you decide, good luck and anytime you need a shoulder or an ear just holla, PM me anytime. for all if OK