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  1. vowelgal


    welcome to AS i think you will find that this board is full of people who can relate to what you have been through. this is a great place to find encouragement, support, advice, and people who will listen and support you. i'm glad you found your way here. make yourself at home, this is a safe place.
  2. welcome back, glad you had a great time. can't wait to see the pictures. i take my vacations vicariously through other people
  3. vowelgal


    welcome to as, i'm glad you found your way here. it is an incredible place to work things out and get feedback from people who are supportive, caring and 100% in your corner. post when you are able, we are all here for you.
  4. welcome to as. i agree with what you said. it is bittersweet. i'm so glad when hurting people find this board, because i know what a wonderful supportive place it is, but it is always painful to know there is one more person who is aching out there. i'm glad you found as, welcome.
  5. klassy, welcome to as, make yourself at home. i'm glad you found this place.
  6. for me personally i'm a little afraid of getting out of the hole (i know that sounds stupid). the hole if familiar, i know every bumbp, crack, and dark corner...beginning to heal is uncharted territory for me. i feel more anxiety now that i am letting people in and seeking help than i did when i was alone in my hole. in the hole i had control. when i disclose to someone that control is gone. i have forever altered the way that they will see me, scary prospect. i've spent sooooo much time and energy into cultivating the "i'm fine, how are you?" mask that letting it go is daunting. the leadership at our church is men whose attitude toward healing is mostly directive or directed, i'm sorry, i forgot what it was called. which for me personally was almost hurtful because i interpreted it as a just get over it attitude. after finding this board and the people who are so wise in their counsel and compassionate in their responses i can feel myself coming out of the hole (again, not that this a comfortable feeling) taking the hands of so many who have come before and being able to reach behind me is such a powerful thing. well, to make a long story even longer i have gone to the leadership of our church given my testimony and asked that money be allocated in the budget for training so that we can better help not just our church members, but people in the community. what amazed me is that after these people "found out about me" they still liked me, listened to me, asked me to lunch, laughed at my lame jokes, and looked me in the eyes, in short, nothing changed...with the exception that when i'm having a tough time they are aware that it might go beyond the fact that my 3 year old isn't potty trained. we are now looking at what we as a church body can do to minister to the secondary survivors, but there doesn't seem to be much guidance out there.
  7. vowelgal


    welcome to AS. i know you will find the support and encouragement you are looking for.
  8. the boy who raped me said that "there is no such thing as date rape, you can't rape someone you are dating." his friend joined in the converstation "ancient chines proverb...woman run faster with her dress up than man do with pants down." they thought they were so clever. same rapist at another social event we both attended "she (meaning me) just needed a little help giving it up, but it turns out she likes it rough" that was his justification why he needed to hit me. i just realized i could go on and on. how sad is that. for all of us who have endured the well meaning comments made in ignorance and the hurtful comments made out of fear and/or spite
  9. Welcome to AS! Glad you are here. Congratulations on both the marriage and baby. Keep us posted so we can give her a proper welcome.
  10. welcome to AS. i'm so sorry that you have need of this place but i'm thrilled for you that you've found your way here. it is a wonderfully safe place with fantastic and supportive people. again welcome.
  11. welcome to AS. you are right this is a comforting, warm and supportive environment. make yourself at home
  12. welcome ella, i'm glad you found this sight it is a wonderful source of encouragement and wisdom.
  13. I've been thinking about this all day and more and more moronic comments keep coming to mind. -so you had bad sex, get over it. -if it was really rape, why didn't you tell anyone? -what did you think would happen? -why did you go out with him? My favorite though has got to be what my father would say to any boy courageous enough to set foot near my house. "So, are you planning on having sex with my daughter?" If they said no he would call them a liar, if they said yes he would commend their honesty. My rapist said yes.
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