SecretSomeone

Hello. I'm Nikki... I've been a member for quite some time, possibly over a year, but I haven't been brave enough to post before. I'm in the south of the UK and currently studying social sciences with the Open University. I love reading, writing, gardening, studying, music, being outdoors, crafts and all sorts of other wonderful things. I live with my girlfriend and hopefully soon a dog that we want to call Savannah. My healing journey is one that I think I will always be on. I have bad days... Sometimes really horrific days, but I'm okay. I've had many years of therapy and hospitalisation, but it's taken me finally being referred to DBT (dialectal behavioural therapy) for me to really start healing myself and discovering my strength. I've nearly completed the year course now and feel like I'm learning new ways to live every day and that I'm maybe starting to accept myself, despite everything that has happened. I'm acutely aware that I need to be very careful here, as I'm very easily triggered. For now I know I need to stay away from details and stories, but I hope that eventually I'll be able to read and stay safe, and perhaps share my own someday. It's nice to find a safe space. *edit* to say that according to the information under my name I have posted before. I don't remember what, but apparently the bravery has shown its face a few times.

Hi there. Um... I don't know quite what to say here - I never have been good at introductions. My name's Nikki, I'm 19, and something happened to me when I was a very small child. The wound started healing when I met my current girlfriend, and then when I read a Dorothy Allison book... Things are a lot better than they were before. My girlfriend taught me that I am worth more than I thought, and Dorothy Allison taught me it was not my fault. I can't explain it, but it feels like a tiny part of a large wound has healed, and it feels like it might continue to become less raw. I'm not sure it can ever completely heal, but being able to get on with my life without the pain crippling me would be worth every second of hard work. I'm sounding weird here, aren't I? On to other things... I adore reading, writing, playing the tin whistle, studying, life coaching, fruit, gardening, museums, libraries, theatres, voluntary work and hula hooping, along with many other things. Unfortunately I'm disabled with a neurological diease, which means that I'm not in education or work, and use a wheelchair, but despite these things and being in bed for hours a day, I'm much better than I have been and for that I'm eternally thankful for! I hope to make some friends here who understand the wounds and healing processes after sexual assault. Nikki xx