Jump to content

Cols

Contributing Member
  • Content Count

    293
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female

Previous Fields

  • MembershipType
    Survivor
  1. Hi. AS is a good healthy environment to start your healing. Cols
  2. Hi Amely So glad you found AS. Its a wonderful supporting site. Well done on coming here to continue your path of healing sweety. Cols
  3. Cols

    Hi

    Hi bluerainfire!! So proud that you found us here. AS is a great place to talk with all of us who have gone through painful abuse. Its helping me in my path of healing. Cols
  4. Cols

    New

    Hi there...so glad you found us. Cols
  5. I am so very glad you found us here at AS. Im thrilled your journey has led you to us. I look forward to being a small link in your chain of support. Cols
  6. Hi tash....im so glad you are here. Your so very brave for coming forward. Im honoured to welcome you. Keep safe. Cols
  7. Hi dani, first of I am amazed by you. Your strength in coming here astounds me. To be so young and been through so much hurts my heart. I hope you have good support in your life. And I wish only good things for you and your innocent baby. I am here anytime you need to talk, just PM me. Remember you arent alone, AS is always here for you to talk with. Cols
  8. Hi sweety, so glad you found us at AS. I am so in awe of your bravery to be willing to talk, I wished I had that when I was your age. Cols
  9. Hi Sky/Pheonixx... So glad you found us here at AS. Another step in healing sweety, well done! Cols
  10. Cols

    Hello!

    Hi truth! (love the nick) So glad to meet you...and so glad you found AS. Cols
  11. Not sharing this with your kids in my opinion is a mistake. Silence is not the answer to me. My Grandmother did it, my mother did it...and because of this they allowed evil to enter through silence, fear and fear of rejection. I wont go into detail with my children, that irresponsible. It can be done in a healthy manner, you dont need to give a detailed description. But as a parent I want to arm them all with knowledge and understanding of what is right and wrong. If through my non actions my children were preyed upon by someone, I would truley never forgive myself. I dont want them to be vulnerable or become victims like my grandmother, my mother and I did. All because we couldnt communicate to each other. We let fear control us. We let our abusers twisted lies control us. Never again. As for keeping children innocent...to me this is not a question of shattering innocence, its about giving them information to make as many right choices as they can. I will raise a son who is strong and will never hurt woman, and will know to stand up and defend someone weaker if he is ever in that situation. I dont want them afraid to speak up. I dont want them to be a part of a pack mentality. After I told my children, they did such an amzing thing. They hugged me, and whispered to me how amazing they thought I was. They gave me extra cuddle and extra kisses throughout the weeks after. And I needed that. We all needed it. It gave me a very bright moment of hope from abuse. It told me I have broken the cycle. It told me my children are amazing creatures, even more amazing than I thought. Something my grandmother and mother never did for each other which is so very sad. Another good thing to come out of it was this. My children did ask me questions, which at first was difficult for me. But it made me talk about it. It forced me to stop the secrets. I hate them with a passion. And it made me proud that I have raised such bloody awesome kids who have the fortitude to want to know and to not turn away...and who show me more each day how much they love me. So that is why I will never regret sharing with them. Cols
  12. Im A mummy of 3. two daughters, my eldest girl is 8. I sat her down and had an age appropriate talk with her. Letting her know there was a bad man when I was her age who thought it was OK to touch me on my privates. I said to her he said things to me that made me believe that my mummy would call me a lier if I ever told her, he made me believe that everyone would hate me if I told...so I never did. I let her know that it is not ok for anyone to touch here there. Even Mummy and Daddy, and let her know I would always protect her and believe her if there was anything she wanted to share with me. I didnt go into gruesome detail, I dont think thats appropriate, nor do I want to pass on my own fears to her, as that is not the right thing to do. I am raising my girls to be strong and to know I will always be there to listen, I will always protect them as much as I can, and I will never turn away from them. I told her that people who hurt you rely on silence, they rely on secrets, and to never let secrets happen between her and I. Also to let her know to trust in her tummy, if she gets a yucky feeling in her tummy about someone, dont stay alone with that person. I told her my mummy ignored that yucky feeling in her tummy, and so did I. And that the bad man that would want to touch her will make it into silly little games when he got you alone. Just making her aware and not ignoring it is a gooid thing to do. My Mother never did this, and neither did her Mother...and on and on it goes...talking with her like this, or in any way that is comfortable for you both is a strong protection for prevention. I fully believe it IS a good idea to share with your children. Secrets and silence divide us, stop it by talking. Our children have the capacity to help heal us with their powerful love. It is not our duty to pass on fear and ignorance, it is our duty to let our children be educated and know about things like this, so if they ever experience or witness this kind of degradation...they will know to come to you, and they will know the steps they need to take. I refuse to send my kids out into a world for which they will not be prepared to be able to deal with properly, I dont want them vulnerable. I want to know when they l leave my home they have love and full support from me at all times...and I will always believe them Hope I help you in some way Cols
  13. Cols

    Hello =)

    Hi Steph, I am so glad you found AS. I hope your journey can be a little easier by talking here. Cols
  14. Hi jat, first of hun...welcome. And well done in making a step in coming here, its hard but always know you are not alone. Cols
  15. Cols

    Hello

    hi there.. I am so happy to see you here. Cols
×
×
  • Create New...