i have already made a few posts becase I am sorta going through a rough time right now. But I thought I would take a minute to actually give a little backgound on me to let you all know a little of who I was.
I don't have a lot of memories of my childhood pror to the age of 14 years old. I know that may sound strange, but it is sorta like I just woke up or was born at the age of 14. Can't help it, that is just part of my story and the way it is. But I do have some memories prior to that age, sketchy as they may be. I do know that things were not all that great in my home as I was growing up and yes, I guess you could say i come from an abusive background. The memories I do have from those early years, well, most of them are not happy ones, although I do have a few that are and I try desperately to hold on to those. It is hard though, because lately I find myself haveing some many feelings and things popping up in my head from those years that I don't understand and I am not real sure what to do about it.
ahh.. but life after 14.. well I had many of an abusive relationship after that. At home I was trapped with a "man" that was much much older than me that was physically, verbally, and sexually abusive and that relationship continued until I was 16. In which someone else took his place. This seem to be a repeating patten until I left home and got married (to get away from home) until I was 17 (almost 18) In which I found out after marriage that my new husband was physically abusive. Relationships after that were needless to say very bad because I had no idea how to have a good relationship. Young and dumb I suppose. I have manage to have a good relationship here and there.
I finally got my life in order and things seemed to be looking good, or so I thought. And over the past three years I seem to have been heading for a major crash in which I finally seem to have made impact. I don't know what is happening to me right now. I suppose all the things from my past have finally caught up with me, I don't really know. I am not sure what is happening. I just know I seem to be falling apart. Funny, I was 10 ft Tall and Bulletproof just a few years ago. Everyone relied on me. Now I think a feather could knock me down. But if you don't mind, Lets just keep that between you and me.