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Everything posted by Vera

  1. Definitely not! We are looking to re-design the forum soon and we will hopefully be able to re-create a skin as similar as our old one as possible. The upgrade changed so many of the board's features that the old skins became all incompatible. I don't personally like Luminous very much but I don't see a resemblance with FB. I don't even have a personal FB page though so I'm not the best frame of reference.
  2. How awful of this person to say something so mean and so very STUPID. It really speaks of the type of person he is more than anything.
  3. Thanks for brining this issue to our attention. The full name of researchers will no longer be edited out.
  4. The issue should be fixed now and the Humor and Silliness forum should be active again as of now. Thank you for your patience.
  5. No, moderators don't have access to members' private messages. Administrators have access to private messages in the sense that they have access to the entire database of the forum, as every part of what compromises the forum, every line of code, every setting, etc, has to be stored somewhere to function. In our case, we pay a monthly fee to our host to store all of our information and we have unlimited access to it. This is the same for virtually every website owner on the internet. Everyone who owns a forum on the internet has access to every part of his or her forum. Technical things aside, I believe the important question is: do administrators read members' private messages? The answer is no, we don't. Although standard Terms of Services, which again are pretty much the same for every website out there, give us permission to access all information stored on our server, we don't read members' private messages for a couple of reasons. 1. We believe members have a right to confidentiality when it comes to exchanging private messages. 2. Accessing private messages is not an easy 1-2-3. It is time consuming and, in layman terms, a real pain in the neck. In the past 8 years, I can count on one hand the times we had to go into the database and check someone's inbox. We have only done it in extreme situations, and whenever possible, with the permission of at least one of the two members involved in the exchange of private messages. Hope this helps.
  6. Yup, you are absolutely correct. It's okay to use full cuss words in posts, but not in titles. And we do ask that members place a triggering warning in the title, so members who are sensitive to cuss words or who are triggered by them can choose not to read. Whenever possible, we really want members to use their voice as freely as they want, and censoring cuss words would go against it.
  7. Hey there, I went to check our "Badword Filters" and did notice a lot more words had been added since the last time I looked, which I believe was done automatically when we last updated the board, so all the common swear words, like the f. one, were included. I fixed it and the only "bad words" left now are the ones we believe trolls could use to upset people and/or post sexually explicit messages with the intent of upsetting members. I'm gonna list the only censored words we have now below, in case any of you want to know which one they are. If you are triggered by explicit swear words and/or graphic, for some derogative, ways in which parts of the body can be referred to, please be safe and skip the spoiler tag. Thank you.
  8. Thank you for alerting us, Karen! It was my mistake... I'm not as good with html as I used to be. I think I have fixed it now. Let me know! P.S. The font never changed though. It was only the alignment of the text.
  9. Thank you for the suggestion, kenzo28. We now have a category for "Sexual Abuse By A Family Friend Or Neighbor."
  10. Your topic has been removed. Big hugs and stay safe.
  11. I'm really sorry for the inconvenience that some of you are experiencing. I can certainly appreciate the importance of privacy and you all bring very valid points to the table. Unfortunately, to compromise the detail description of email notifications would also mean to compromise our keywords, which are in many cases responsible for how survivors find us through popular search engines like google, yahoo, etc. The email notification system borrows the title for the email from the complete title of the board, After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors. As I'm not aware of a way to separate the two, to change the title of the email notifications I would also need modify the title of our page (and therefore lose rich keywords that allow survivors to find us when they type things like "rape survivor message board" on a search engine).
  12. Hey there, I'm sorry for the delay! The Humor and Silliness! forum is a private forum (it used to be public but we changed it a while ago), so no worries about privacy. Only registered members have access to the Humor and Silliness! forum.
  13. Thank you very much for your kind words, hopeprays. And thanks to all the members who are here everyday, healing and supporting other survivors.
  14. We will definitely add a Facebook page for After Silence very soon and will post the link on the board!! It will be a public page, however, similar to the one RAINN and other organizations have on Facebook. For safety reasons, only AS staff can create and monitor any group/activity that is directly associated with After Silence.
  15. As stated in the previously closed thread, the moderators are discussing the issue and will reach a decision in a matter of days (most likely 1 or 2 days). In the meantime, please do not restart a topic that has been closed by a moderator. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.
  16. Vera


    You may want to try this forum, specifically designed to support secondary survivors. Like Wishy said, if you post int the secondary survivors forum, you will likely receive support and a listening ear... but After Silence is not designed to provide crisis intervention in the exact moment in which someone posts.
  17. Sorry for the delay! Here it is: Rape by Foreign Object Thread
  18. RAINN had such a great idea! Thank you for bringing it to our attention, em. We move topics to keep the forums organized. This is the best forum for general questions about the board.
  19. You can and we thank you for spreading the word and raising awareness. Only the administrators/owners of AS can create a page on facebook for this site. We haven't yet, but we may in the future. Linking to AS from your facebook profile or posting a banner is totally okay and we appreciate it.
  20. Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and ideas. There is a pinned topic in the Secondary Survivor forum. Please feel free to use it to discuss issues of intimacy with secondary survivors. This will also help moderators understand if there is enough interest in the topic to justify a subforum. Relationship And Sexuality Discussions Between Survivors and Secondaries
  21. Hi brotherof8. I'd love to hear your original composition! If you wish, you can send me the file via email (aftersilence.org@gmail.com) and I'll be more than happy to upload it to my server over at dancinginthedarkness.com (I have a lot of space there). I can then provide you with the link to the file, which you can post in the "healing through creativity" forum.
  22. We never had and never will have a filter for words like rape (or any other word related to sexual violence). Like Karen said, some people choose to censor certain words by putting in the *. I know of other forums for survivors that automatically filter words, so that rape automatically becomes r*pe, but we would never do it. There is power in voicing your experience and being able to write or say the full word can be very healing. Of course, it's a personal choice and there are members who don't feel ready. If they feel more comfortable writing r*pe, we won't force them to type something they don't want to. As far as words being blacked, there is a tool called "spoiler" that allows you to cover words in black, so that they can be visible only if you right-click on them with your mouse. Again, it's something members choose to do on their own. Personally, I strongly advise against using the "spoiler" tool for triggering material because I don't believe in hiding or blacking out anything related to sexual violence, in real life or online. There should be no shame, of any form. Now, we do have a filter in place for certain swear words (like "f*ck," for example.) Personally, I'm not disturbed by foul language, but there are members who find it offensive or who are triggered by it. Also, most of the filtered words are never used on this board but we included them in our filter system as a precaution. Should someone register with bad intentions and attempt to spam the board with sexually explicit words, we can contain the damage. I don't think that has ever happened so far, thankfully. I hope this answers your question. ,
  23. I believe this is an issue many survivors face with their T, as well as with their relatives and friends. I know I have struggled many times with directing the conversation where I wanted it go. Abby has kindly given us permission to move her topic to the "Pretty Good Year" forum. I hope that many more survivors will read it, join the discussion, and feel less isolated.
  24. Vera


    Hi Dandylion, Secondary survivors can't access members' profiles. You should, however, be able to edit your profile. Which part of your profile are you having difficulties with?
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