"youve just got to move on and put it all behind you"
yup ill do that shall i ,just pretend that i wasnt abused every day for 7 years!!!!!
" it has happend to loads of people and its happening to people right now"
yes i do know that but it doesnt mean it diddnt happen to me and it certanly doesnt make me feel any better!!
"why diddnt you say something to someone when it was all going on"
eeeerrrrm,, let me think, well, i was only 13, terrified and he drummed it into my head that knowone would believe me anyway!
"youve got to stop thinking about it now"
yeh right , ill do that!!
sorry, another one from an EX support worker...
"nicola im not having this, ive had people in my office saying theyve been analy raped and ive just said well no its not happening right now to you is it? but it is to other people, so your not in that situation anymore move on"
i was speechless, i cried for days after that, and was dreading her comeing round to my house.
from my mum......
"erm im confused, if he really did that why were you always with him, and if he really did that why diddnt you say something, are you happy now ! look what youve done , youve split the whole family appart!!he might be a ba*terd but he isnt a per*ert!!!"
eerrrmm mum,, i was always with him cos he wouldnt let me out of his sight, he was making sure i couldnt say anything to anyone, wasnt allowed to go anywere on my own, ever!! and i diddnt say anything cos he made me believe that knowone would believe me and that youd hate me!!!! oooohh look!! he was right!when i finally did say something, do you believe me???NO!!!!! and yes mum he is a per*ert!! he ra*ed me every single day from me being 13 for 7 years!!!!
AAAARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!! makes me so mad!!
ohh another 1,,, my support worker(before my new one)
said to the lady who was taking over from her " dont talk about the past with her and dont let her dwell on it"
maybe thats the problem? always tring to push it all way way down so i dont have to deal with it? maybe i need to get it out, need to talk about it?