MadDad

Secondary Survivors
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About MadDad

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  1. You came to a great place Slater, MD
  2. MAS, You came to a great place! Glad you made it! There are no rules or requirements about "telling your story". There is only YOU and AS. You will find folks here that you like...and probably some that you don't. Do not be afraid. The bottom line is to say what you have to say when and to whom you decide to say it. If that means never, then it's ok with everyone here. Look around and get your bearings, everyone here has or has had something to say from my limited experience. If you have something to say, then feel free, if you just want advice, then scroll through the threads. Whatever you need you can find here. The bottom line, as has been said already is that no one is here to judge you or make YOU do anything that YOU are not comfortable doing. There are ALOT of great folks here. Hope you get to know them. MD
  3. Little BMS, You would do well to listen, you DO deserve all of this and more! MD
  4. Slainte... Hang in there Katie! You came to a good place. Glad to see you're moving forward. Do what you can to keep him away from other children, especially your own if you ever have them. Safe Hugs, MD
  5. Pegasus, I understand the symbology. Glad you made it. It will happen as long as you believe it can. MD
  6. KateTheGreat, I hope you no longer feel hesitant about posting or replying. If you could have landed anywhere in the universe, AS is the greatest place...even if it was a crash landing! YOU made it here so YOU belong here! No one will disagree. There is no "earning" to post here. I have posted often...even to the degree that my own posts were edited. It was for the good of all. Ok, you are no longer "new"! Now YOU post when YOU need to and only say what YOU have to say. There's not a person here who is not ok with that. Glad you found AS and if I may, Safe Hugs, MD
  7. Hi Nichole! Glad you have found your own inner strength! You could not have found yourself in better company, the folks here are the best. I wish you the best of luck in your journey. Your quote is one of my all time favorite, MD
  8. Annette, In my experience, this is a welcoming place to hang out your laundry. If you have something to say, then let it go. Someone here is bound to know where you're coming from. Safe Hugs MD
  9. This is a great thread! When my wife and I first fell in love, both of us were coming out of bad previous marriages. She dumped on me our second night. She told me what she had done in her adult life and I told her that EVERY experience in her life made her the woman that I loved NOW (and still do). then she told me what had happened to her as a child. She offered me the guilt, she offered me the shame...she "came clean" in her mind. The more we talked, the more she began to weep and the more I began to weep. On some level, you must know that I was offended...not by what was done to that sweet, sweet child, but offended by what that adult woman did to that sweet little girl. She (the woman) abandoned that little tiny girl...the one who couldn't fend for herself...the one who still hid in the closet so that "Uncle Jack" couldn't find her. The little girl who was still seeking approval the little girl who just wanted to be loved...like a little girl! So I asked Ter, if you saw a little girl like that now...RIGHT NOW!, what would you do to her? She said, if I ever saw a girl like that I'd grab her in my arms and never let her go. I'd never let anyone hurt her ever again... and after a long pause, I said "Yeah, me too." Terri began to forgive herself that day, but it took 10 (ten) years before she could look in the photo album and feel more than disgust. For years, I wanted to see the cute little blonde girl that became my beautiful buxom brunette but she would have none of it. She was nearly fourty years old before she looked at that same photo that we had looked at for so many years and finally saw the sweet little blonde girl that I had always seen, she had finally forgiven herself, the child that she had been. She reminds me often these days, that I am much less than the "perfect man" but I know that even if she divorced me tomorrow, I could be happy for her, for she would leave me as a whole person and that little blonde girl...well, she'll always have a place where she belongs, in Terri's heart. MadDad
  10. Hello Kaelyn, I'm new here as well but I think you came to the right place. Best wishes & support, Greg
  11. Thanks A Little..., You are going through a difficult period, If you wish to talk, I'm here for you! First best piece of advice that I hated but was given often I offer to you; Don't do anything stupid!!! There is a forum specifically for vitims to relate their stories. Maybe as "secondaries" we should start one so the stories aren't all over the place. Kind of a one stop shop for those trying to figure out how to deal with the situation. If you need to talk, you know where to find me, Greg
  12. Welcome home from another newbee root. You'll never be alone again unless you choose to be. Never forget to smile when you can, Greg
  13. From one newbee to another, glad to see you here. I hope you find what you seek. Keep your chin up, Greg
  14. Hello everyone, Here's a bit of background for the curious. Both of my children were molested as well as my current wife. The victimization of my peeps has been ever present as long as I can remember. It really pissed me off. My wife and I collaberated on a book that is currently in limbo. So, as a 41 year old retired investigator seeking a new career path, I decided to make a documentary about child molestation in a broad scope. My family of course is supporting this endeavor and are main characters, but I intended to speak with other victims of CSA. In our state, the only "domestic violence" support hotline does not serve the CSA community. I have repeatedly asked to speak with a supervisor regarding the issue to no avail. Wow! That led me to seek other avenues and I wound up here. I hope that I can offer some assistance via our experiences as my wife and son are doing well and have healed beyond imagination. I am concerned that the molesting community is so organized while the victim support systems seem very lacking. Anyhow, keep up the good fight, all who have been victimized. I have seen the difficulties caused by integrating such horrible experiences into the complete person. My best to all and I don't mind answering questions should you have any. MadDad