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Secondary Survivors
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About trustedfriend

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    No Shame!! No Guilt!!

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    A Place for Healing

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    Supporter or secondary survivor

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  1. Over the past year I have learned how deeply words can hurt when someone makes an insensitive comment.... whether the conversation is about rape or whether someone uses the word "rape" to express some minor (or even major) injustice she or he is feeling at the moment. I have learned that words can hurt so deeply so fast and that it can take a while to recover from those senseless comments. It makes me angry when I hear those things now and so I step right up and explain that those words and statements can hurt people because no one knows how many survivors are among us at any given time and
  2. Can someone please help me remember how to size my photo so that I can use it for my avatar? I cannot for the life of me figure out how I have done that before. I think my photo is TOO BIG. I want to change my avatar and I simply cannot remember how to make it smaller except as inserted into a word document. Thanks! Trustedfriend
  3. Hello Sandy and StillStanding My hat is off to you both for breaking your silence. I agree! There is almost nothing more important. You are not alone, but when you break your silence, you really are not alone because there are others around you who care and you are telling whoever you break it with that YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME!!!!! Good for you. Many blessings, peace, and light to you both... With a grateful heart, I am Trustedfriend
  4. I read this the minute I saw it. What a wonderful idea. I have posted for help for my friend with nightmares and have read everything I could get my hands on. It seems to be the worst part of healing most of the time. As I read the replies, I suddenly realized that it cannot help us secondaries help our survivors because I am certain that it would be a forum for survivors only. I ache for something like this for secondary survivors, because I believe that only survivors can help us help those we support with these issues. I hope you get this forum. I think it would do everyone a world o
  5. Dear Jeannie, You have landed in the right place exactly. I am only a secondary survivor, but I do believe that you will find care, solace, support, understanding, motivation, and healing in this community. You must listen to your doctor, try to be a good patient, and above all, know that you are special..... a person of true worth. You can heal and put this behind you if you are willing to do the work. There is so much support here for survivors and you can learn about many good books and resources. I shall keep you in my heart and know that you will be well. Breathe, draw in the li
  6. Hello Jamie, I am only a secondary, but I can tell you that my best advice right this minute is CRY. Figure out how to cry and cry your heart out. Many people here on AS will glady cry with you. My friend is healing and she could not cry either. She can now and I am so very, very glad for her. You gotta cry and release what has built up.... then you gotta cry some more until you feel that you do not need to. I truly hope that you can do that soon. I know that you are a beautiful person and this should never have happened to you or any other survivor. But it did. You can heal but you
  7. I am a secondary survivor. I am not a lover, but I believe that I am a very, very important secondary - the only one my friend has at this time - and we are trying to figure out how to use this site to help me help her as she works through this unspeakable nightmare of rape and torture. I read every word that every respondent wrote in this thread. I agree with and understand every word that every respondent wrote. So what does that mean? I think it means that this is a very, very sensitive and confusing question. Under no circumstance should anything posted by a survivor be available t
  8. Hi Root I am a secondary survivor. My friend and I found this site about a month ago and have found it very helpful. I, too, am sorry for what happened to you 12 years ago, but I am so glad that you are now facing it and taking yourself down the path of healing. I know that healing is possible with hard work and determination. I am betting that you have what it takes. All the very best to you. Please keep us posted on your progress. Many will be pulling for you and being here for any help that we can proivde. Peace.... Blessings.... With a grateful heart, I am Trustedfriend
  9. Hi Nici My friend and I have been on this site for only about a month also and are finding it safe and helpful. Thank you so much for writing on the Secondary Board. I know that you will be able to help many and, hopefully, there will be people to support you as well. My friend is determined to heal and I am determined to stand with her every step of the way. Peach, love, and blessings to you. We will be watching your progress.... With a grateful heart, I am Trustedfriend
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