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About JenKitty

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    Survivor, Protector, & Supporter

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    New Hampshire

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  1. Hello Melissa, Welcome to After Silence! My name is Jen, I am 25 years old and I too was abused (7 years) by a family member. (My older brother) I know how it feels to have to find it in yourself to forgive yourself for "letting" it happen for so long. If there is anything you need or would like to ask me about feel free to PM me! ~Jen
  2. ^I know this all to well, as my abuser was my brother. (7 years of abuse though) I know the feeling of not being able to talk to your parents, I still have not told them! I honestly don't think I can. I only recently was able to tell my sister, I went through it so she didn't have to! I am here now not because I need to focus on support for myself (although extra support is always good) but I want to show others support! I have a calling to help others and hopefully through my strength, they will find strength to feel like survivors too! ^ My husband was not sure how to take it at first ei
  3. ^I have ALWAYS been way too hard on myself! And emotions...forget it, I don't understand the emotions I feel. If I don't understand where or why I am feeling that way, I am so hard on myself and fight them so hard. I understand I cry when there is a death of a loved one. However I don't understand when I cry after sex when it was really good. Understanding physical pain is much easier for me. So while I was going through the abuse (my brother absed me form age 8 to 15) if I felt I was having an emotional overload, I would cut...because I understood that pain better! Cut + blood = pain I can
  4. Welcome I honestly believe that it was no real accident that you found this forum! You were meant to find it because you were meant to come here for support! You are in the right place, and on the right path to healing!
  5. Welcome! You are not going crazy, nor have you been crazy! You have just gone through a lot. It's normal for things to resurface when in a relationship, you just have to work through them. Starting a new relationship can be scary, you just have to have good communication with that other person. Let them know what happened.....this may be the scariest part (I know, I have been there!) but it is needed, so that they can begin to understand and support you as you need! Communication is the biggest part of a relationship, be open and honest with each other. Be open and honest to them and let them
  6. JenKitty


    Welcome!! Not only does it take courage, it also takes strength! Which I can tell you have both of! I have always felt that it takes Strength to make it through and Courage to talk about it! (These two words I had tattooed one on each wrist!) So congrats for taking the first step! I know you will go far in your path and I will be here for support all the way! You ARE Courageous and you ARE Strong!!!
  7. Welcome Kristi! I am glad you have found this forum where you can get the support you are looking for! We are really all survivors whether or not we feel like we are yet! We went through an event/events that changed our lives and we are now here, together. The fact that we are here supporting one another shows that we survived! Because we survived, that makes us SURVIVORS! We are just all on different parts of the healing path to realize and feel like we are a survivor!
  8. Welcome to the forum! You are in the right place!! There are plenty of the hugs and support you need on here! You are strong to go for counseling, and I know that you are on the right path to healing. I never went for counseling, I went down the road to healing with the support of my husband, and a few friends that knew at the time. I think it made that path longer, but I got there in the end, and that is all that matters! I look forward to your story if and when you are ready to post it! You'll get there in time, and when you do, I will there with hugs and support! So welcome again
  9. I also felt safe and secure when I gained weight. However now I no longer need to feel safe and secure in the same way, and I am kinda mad about my weight. Its a frustration for me now, and it needs to go! Its one of the last things that make me look in the mirror and feel like the vulnerable little girl I use to be! Its the last thing I need to rid from my life of that past. I am losing the weight, just not as fast as I would like. I am happy for you, that you have lost 11lbs! Congrats...its not always easy, and you are doing it! Of course we can help to motivate each other, I would like th
  10. Welcome Laurie! I too feel "mostly healed", I still have things I have to deal with, and questions...but for the most part the flashbacks are gone, i don't get as many nightmares, and I enjoy a healthy sex life again! (With my husband of almost 4 yrs) Now I have found that I feel like a survivor and I am ready to let go of the last thing I still have that came from my views during abuse. That would be my weight. I gained a lot of weight as an adolescent so that the opposite sex would not see me as attractive. So far I have lost 8lbs! Besides that, I have a strong urge to help others! I feel
  11. Welcome! You have definitely come to the right place. I am fairly new also, but have come to find this place to be awesome. Everyone is so supportive and understanding. No one pressures anyone and we all know that you will share whatever you want to will us when you are ready! You have strength in just joining, it's a step in the right direction...healing doesn't just happen over night. It takes steps...and joining is just one step of many. ^I agree totally with you on this! That is an great way to put it too!
  12. Welcome Liz! I am at the point now where I can talk about it to almost everyone, including complete strangers. (However I still can't tell my parents for some reason.) For the most part it's like I "don't care" anymore....I still have days where I am still very effected by it though... Now that I am married, I have discovered the passion/joy/pleasure in sex! I LOVE sex now, I almost can't get enough of it! But it wasn't like this till after I married, and I have been with the same person for over 8 1/2 years! (Married almost 4) He was the first person I ever told. It's weird that I didnt st
  13. Welcome Back and HaPpY BiRtHdAy!!!! It takes alot to be able to just talk about it. (This I understand) In time you WILL get there, and that is just what it takes....time! It's not an easy thing and no one expects you to just come out with it. Take you time and know that you have so much support here! This is a wonderful place.
  14. I am so glad that what I said has helped in some way. (That's really my goal, I want to form a support group in my area since there aren't many.) Before Cuchulainn (Bob) and I got married, I wondered if he would be better off with someone who "didn't have so many issues". I even asked him if I was really what he wanted...and he of course said he felt there was no one better. I often felt bad that some days I couldn't give him what he wanted, and it wasn't until after we married that I began to find/feel the joy that came with making love. I had no idea there was pleasure in sex...I had honestl
  15. Thank you to everyone for the heartfelt warm welcomes! I look forward to talking and getting to know everyone!
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