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gablecat

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  1. This is so crazy I was just thinking about this yesterday. I'm obsessed with triggers too. I find myself thinking about my CSA at least 20 -30 times a day, all types of different scenarios, what could have been changed. I spent years obsessed with SVU as well, I think primarily because it focuses on victims and compassion. The later being something a lot of us have NOT experienced through our journeys. I also am obsessed with all types of real life dramas, and swear I became obsessed with the film "Precious" for far too long. It's all so painful to watch, but I can't stop. I too have been recently diagnosed with PTSD. I think for me I have become obsessed with triggering material because: 1. I've never been able to talk to many people about it so I needed a way to try and work through the trauma without being completely in my head all of the time. 2. I have trouble feeling anything at all sometimes. Triggers hurt and hurt is feeling. Sometimes I need it to remind me of where I came from. I'm not proud of what has happened to me in my life but I am proud of how I've survived it all. It's important to remember. Nobody believed me either and I think your right, that's also a reason why I am obsessed as well. It somehow validates it all. But honey you never have to validate it to anyone but yourself. I know it is easier said than done. You know what you had to live through and what it has taken for you to come out the other side. Be proud of who you are and what you have been able to accomplish. I know how important it is for people (especially people who were directly involved) to believe you and admit to their parts. Sometimes this just isn't a reality. You must know though that whatever happens, what you are doing right now seems very normal to the healing process and that you are strong and amazing! Don't forget that. (Sorry for the long rant I didn't know I had that in me) Great thread!
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