Single Status Update
Hi Jen. I am not well. Today I ran into a person from the past and the smile I got from them was the same smile that was there when I got hurt a lot. I am ashamed and hate me so bad right now. Sorry if this isn't supposed to be on here I don't know what to do. I did call a hotline this afternoon. I didn't even know that this person lived this close to me (1 hr away). Or maybe they don't live there I don't know. I feel sick
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I made it therapy yesterday. It was ok but we are still learning about trusting her still so when she asked about having the parts inside speak to her and when she asked if I wanted to get rid of the parts there was a huge reaction within. Sigh...she is still learning and so are we. I hope you are doing well. No more blood being coughed up so that is a relief. Lots of dreams last night again. Take care Jen
I am glad you made it to therapy. It's hard, building trust. But it is work worth doing. I am also glad there is no more blood being coughed up. That's a scary symptom.
I'm sorry about the dreams. It's not fair that you have to deal with stuff even in your sleep.
I'll be thinking of you and cheering you on. I know you can continue to be amazing.
Be safe my friend.
Trigger Warning: please read only if you are in an ok place. I understand if you can't read or say anything right now. I know you have your own hurts from your life and that it may be hard right now.
More blood got me to go back to doctor for a ct scan and nodules were seen on right lung which appear benign. Night before last several thousand dollars were wrung up on my debit card in fraud charges of phone purchases, airline and bus tickets, French wine and all kinds of other purchases by a person or people in the southern USA. Fortunately my bank is covering the fraud. It has happened a lot lately the bank said to me. Went to therapy last afternoon and the part of me that controls inside, is very angry and is super critical of me came out. I am so embarrassed and hopeless this night. Just awoke from a dream of something bad that happened to me in real time when I was little and then in dream I hung myself at the church. I hate me. I really do feel bad about running to you again with this all but feel spinning out of control again. I can't talk to my wife as she doesn't want to talk about it and doesn't believe in inside parts of me. Just pray, please, if it is ok with you.