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About missheathyrmarie

  • Birthday 05/30/1984

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    one: heather. 24 years old. full time student. part time retail slave. in love with her dogs tinkerbelle & darby;falling more in love with her fiance, curt everyday.<br /><br />two: wishes she was a better catholic. holds grudges. loves autumn and leaves. obsessed with digital photography, law & order: SVU and nostalgia. has a love for chicago. tends to burn bridges because she knows how to swim. is learning to let go of the past.<br /><br />three: survivor. writer. catholic. dreamer. creator. singer. songwriter. student. pianist. future radiologist. sister. daughter. friend. advocate. role model. woman. hopeless romantic. maternal. text messaging w**re. democrat. nomadic.<br /><br />loves: italian food, procrastination,music, anchorman, bud light, being random, politics, family, diet coke, friends, laughing, eggs with ketchup, watching football, facebook, dirty martini’s, haircuts, black & white photography, sex, the Joyful Heart Foundation, driving fast, cigarettes, vanilla ice cream, lilacs, reading, myspace, being in school, big sunglasses, indie music, flip flops, manicures, babies, falling in love, and Mariska Hargitay.<br /><br />dislikes: ignorance, chipped nail polish, liars, being overly sensitive, tripping over my words, radishes, papa john’s pizza, dry skin, chocolate ice cream, biting my nails, stalkers, bitterness, people who don’t acknowledge me when i sneeze, Tom Brady, goodbyes, dr. pepper, car commercials, humidity, being clumsy, skinny jeans, the smell of vanilla, carnations, and bad teeth.<br /><br />fears: getting divorced, clowns, the feeling of falling, spiders, storms, and making a commitment.

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  1. I'm jealous! It was sleeting here earlier IN APRIL.
  2. I'm thinking about going upstairs to take a LONG bath. I've had a horrible day, and tomorrow is going to be just as bad. I have to have a secondary MRI, and I'm taking my practice test for my State board exam. I failed the last one by a few points, so if I don't pass this next one, then I have to take another semester instead of graduating. I'm so nervous, and STRESSED OUT. ugh. i just know i'm going to be up all night studying, too.
  3. I'm new as well, but if you ever need to chat, feel free to PM me or email me. I am sorry about what happened to you.
  4. My fiance & I had a good dinner with my dad, stepmom, and half-siblings. Then, we watched a movie together and laughed and it was nice to laugh with meaning again. Sometimes I forget how awesome it feels to laugh. My week is going to be hellish so I will look back on those moments to get me through.
  5. I slept in until almost 1 pm!! Now I'm relaxing, and plan on taking a nice hot shower before going to my dad & stepmom's house to celebrate my little sister's 14th birthday! GAH! I can't believe she's 14 already!
  6. Welcome to the board! I'm new too! Everyone is SUPER nice, and I think you'll get a lot out of this place!
  7. Congratulations!! When is the wedding to be? January 30, 2010. We did the kitchen stuff at Kohls, mainly because we can add online and delete online, and got the basic stuff already on there. As it gets closer, we'll do Crate & Barrel, and Bed, Bath & Beyond!
  8. My fiance & I registered for our wedding at Kohls and had a BLAST together with the little scanner gun :D
  9. Thanks so much everyone for all the responses! It is much appreciated! I look forward to getting to know you all too!
  10. I love this exercise-- I started a theme on my blog, called "Open Letter" series after my therapist and I decided that this was a good healing tool for me, and one of the first letters I did, was one to myself. I'll post it here. Dear Heather, There are so many things about you that I love. Your kind heart, the beauty in everyone that you search to see, and the compassion that you exude. I love your smile, and the way that your eyes light up when you talk about something that is your passion. I love watching you fall in love, with not only Curt, but yourself. I love that you are finding that happy balance in your life. You deserve it. I love that you can find the good in everyone. I love that you can make a crowd of people laugh harder than anyone I know. But most of all, I love that you are a survivor. Someone who has taken the painful side of their past, and wrapped it in your life. Even though it has defined you, it has become you, it has still not fully consumed you. I love that about you. I love that you are consistently inconsistent, and that you answer to no one, but yourself. I love that you have confidence, as a woman, as a mentor, as a friend. That you care more about your friends & family, then you do about yourself at times. I love that you want to rescue every sick kitten, puppy, and animal you come into contact with. I love that you put your heart and soul into life, no matter what the occasion is. But with all the things I love, there are so many that I hate still. I hate that you still blame yourself. I hate that you can’t forgive him just yet. I hate that you make excuses for yourself, knowing that there is no excuse for his actions towards you. I hate that you can’t move on from this because you won’t take some of those crucial steps. I hate that you stop therapy at the drop of a hat because you don’t want to get close to anyone again. I hate that you can’t sleep for more than 3 hours at a time because your dreams are ripped open by painful flashbacks that literally cause you to scream out. I hate that, as punishment (which is something we’ll talk about in a minute), you force yourself to remember every little detail in hopes of finding a flaw in yourself, instead of him. I hate that you even feel the need to punish yourself to begin with. Why do you need to be punished? What could you have done, at any point in your life, that would merit being sexually and physically abused by someone? I hate that you don’t have the trust to admit to yourself that you need help. I hate that you don’t want to reach out anymore, that you feel like you should “have control” of the situation by now. I hate that you feel that this “situation” is even a “situation”. It’s not a situation, Heather. It’s a part of your life, one that you can never take back. I hate that you want to play the martyr, and try and act as though you have gotten through this, even though you know you have not. I hate that you don’t allow yourself to speak to others, that you don’t feel as though you are worth it. I hate that you don’t feel that you are strong, that you are an inspiration to someone, anyone out there who has been through, or is going through, what you have. And most importantly, I hate that you can’t stop putting up walls, when instead you could, and should be tearing them down. But remember this, Heather. You’ve come so far. And you have more to go. But you are never on this journey alone. You have friends, you have family, and you have someone who is not only your best friend, but your future husband to support you. In any way. You are loved, you are cherished, not only by those listed above, but by yourself. You are a survivor. You will rise above this. You will prove to him that you are not just a w**re, you are not worthless, you are not a piece of trash, and you are much more important that he ever thought. Be proud of yourself, Heather. Our journey is only starting. Love, Me
  11. ^^ I hope you're feeling better! Today I deep cleaned our house-- It was much needed, and as I cleaned, I sang and danced my heart out with my ipod touch. It's the little things in life, right?
  12. Hi everyone, my name is Heather and I just joined last night. I'm 24 years old, a full time student and a part time retail slave, and I am a survivor. I'm still figuring out how to navigate this place so bear with me, please! I look forward to getting to know everyone!
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