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  1. Izzy82


    Hi there, I am new here. I have to admit I feel a little out of place. I have posted my story in the share your story section. I find that I have been obsessed with finding out if anything happened to me when I was little. Sometimes I almost think I can remember something, or if I try to remember other things and I think something might have validity I'm completely terrified of remembering something awful and that it might be true, and I just shut it off and ignore it again. I just wanted to say hello mostly, but also wanted to ask one more question and was uncertain where to post it. Is it possible when you are little to have something happen to you and then immediately block it out and be ignorant to it? Something I realized that feels weird to me too, is that the unsettling moments I remember myself being uncomfortable with something happening but with no "perpetrator," and I also remember bodies but never faces or identities. I also feel like I had "crushes" when I was little on adult males and wonder if I was abused, if I felt a connection to the abuser, and if that's normal. I worry that it could have been my neighbor but I remember being very fond of him, like he was my best friend, and I wonder if he might have said or did things to make me feel special despite the abuse. I feel so silly for being here. I feel like if I tell my friends or my boyfriend about this they won't believe me and think I'm overreacting or being selfish. A while ago, I didn't want to focus on any of this, and definitely denied the possibilty, but now I feel older and that I need to be tackling issues that may have caused negative manifestations in my personality. I don't know anything about the effects of abuse like this. I'm wondering if the blocking out and not remembering, or the fact that I don't remember identities is common. Thank you. You are all so supportive of eachother here it's really great.
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