deepgreensandblues

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About deepgreensandblues

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  • Gender Female
  • Interests I enjoy running, reading, photography, and being outside.

    Last year, I was at my favorite bookstore. I went there because I was feeling sort of fragile and overwhelmed, and one of the things that usually makes me feel better is a bookstore. I was looking through the cards, the ones that have quotes on the front, and they are all big, inspirational, seize the day - type quotes, from people like Eleanor Roosevelt and Albert Einstein. And if you read them on a good day, you're like, "I will Eleanor Roosevelt, I will change the world one tiny moment at a time"; But on kind of a cranky, bad day, you read them and you think, "Well that's why you people are famous, because you do wonderful inspirational things, and all I do is try to get through the day without crying or loosing my mind."; So I was looking at these cards,... I looked at this whole big wall of cards, and each one was making me feel more broken down and scooped away inside, so far from inspiration and hope. Then I saw one in the corner, in black and white, and it said, "You too? I thought I was the only one." And it hit something inside me, and in the card isle at Schulers, I started to cry. Really cry, like the kind of tears that have been waiting to come out for a long time. That night, I didn't need big, great, beautiful words from important people. I just needed to know that I wasn't alone. "You too? I thought I was the only one."
    Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines

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  • MembershipType Survivor

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  1. New Too

    Welcome OutoftheAshes! Wow, congrats on breaking the silence for the first time. I remember that feeling of relief - such a big weight removed from my soul. You should be so proud of yourself and celebrate that accomplishment!!! Small steps... I first broke my silence here on AS, then at a local crisis center, then in counseling, and then most recently with my boyfriend. Just move at your pace and do what you need to do for you!
  2. New And Very Scared

    Welcome Emily! I hope that you find AS to be a supportative and healing place for you!
  3. Hi

    Hi and welcome!
  4. Hi Am New And A Bit Worried

    Hi net! Welcome to AS! I hope you find the support you deserve here! deep
  5. I'm Here!

    hey lala, Welcome to AS! I hope you find the support you deserve! deep
  6. Hi, New And Scared..

    Hey Cold, I am 22 and I too was abused by a family member. I remember how scared I was when I joined AS. I had never told anyone. I had tried to convince myself my whole life that it didn't happen, that it was just my imagination. And eventually that just didn't work for me anymore. I was never sleeping, anxious, battling memories every minute of the day and just felt so desperate. I, and I am sure many many others here, can really relate to what you are going through. It is scary, but so worth it! Joining AS does make it "real," but it is the first step in healing (which by the way is a work in progress but feels good - better than anything else I have ever experienced). You will be amazed at how much this support system will change your life. Welcome to AS! take care, deep
  7. Intro

    Hey Blitznge, I am so glad you are here! This community has been SUCH a powerful force in my healing, and I hope it will be for yours too. You are welcome here! p.s. you are so brave for taking this step! deep
  8. Moving Forward

    Hey findingpeaceingpieces, I am so happy for you that you were able to find AS. It is a place where you can share whatever you are going through and always find others who are dealing with the same thing. AS offered me so much support and has helped me heal tremendously. I know that it will do the same for you! Welcome! Deep
  9. First Time Here

    Hey lostinme! Welcome to AS! I am glad that you have found us too! This website is so great and has helped me heal a lot and just feel not so alone. I hope it is the same for you! deep
  10. Hi This Is Me

    hiddensecrets, I am sorry for what you have been through, but so glad that you have found AS! Your English is great by the way! I am CSA survivor too, so I bet we share many of the same thoughts and struggles. If you ever need to talk, I am here! Just send me a message! deep
  11. Hello

    Hey ashabarclay, Welcome to AS! I think you will find people here very supportive, and the website itself very healing. I am 21 and just started therapy a month or so ago. And I am still a mess, but getting much better. I am glad that you decided to get help too! It is a very brave and hard thing to do. If you ever need to talk, I am here. deep
  12. Did It Really Happen

    Hey hayhay! I just want to welcome you to AS! I know you will find lots of help and healing here. I just joined a few months ago because I just couldn't convince myself anymore that the csa didn't really happen. I have not been brave enough to tell my mother yet (my abuser was my father). Anyway, if you ever need to talk, I am here! deep
  13. New Also,supporter

    Welcome to AS! Your daughter is lucky to have your support!
  14. Hey Kat, Welcome to AS! Take your time in sharing what you feel comfortable with. You can heal!!! deep
  15. I'm New And Glad To Find The Board

    hey Autumn, Welcome to AS! I am sure you will find lots of support and encouragement here! deep