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About LittleGirlBlue

  • Birthday 04/27/1982

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    reading, writing, traveling, fitness, Spanish, learning new things (even if they're stupid...LOL!!)
  1. Thank you all so much for your support. I am glad to know that no matter how I feel, I've got a place to come to where people understand. Things are going much better with my parents. And thanks to some open discussion, they are being very supportive. It isn't easy for them, of course. But they are doing the best they know how and I love them for it. But once again, thanks for the love.
  2. Spent, Never let anyone think that this is something you have to get "past". NO ONE gets "past" rape and sexual assault. It's about learning to cope with it and rebuilding yourself from the inside out. That's the way I picture my recovery. And don't feel pressure from your boyfriend and your family to get better. Getting better and learning to rebuild yourself is for YOUR benefit. This is for YOU. This is the time in your life when it's good for you to be selfish. If you need anything, feel free to contact me.
  3. It's been a rough few weeks. Memories, feeling trapped at home...Finally, things came to a head. During an arguement with my father who just couldn't understand why I was so upset all the time and wanted to leave home, I told him. His initial reaction wasn't what I hoped it would be. There was no look of sympathy on his face. He just said, "Oh, I didn't know that." I then told him that I didn't report it or tell him what happened because I was so afraid. He told me that was a "mistake". I tried to say, "But you don't understand, I was just too afraid to say anything." Then, he started yelling, "I don't care! Anytime a crime has been committed you report it! Plain and simple!" I was stunned. I said, "Thanks for making me feel even worse about it." Then, he just kept yelling, and I walked away. I locked myself in my room and cried and cried. I called a guy I had recently started seeing, and he listened. But only for a little bit. He already had to put up with me being sad for a day or so over the weekend. After listening for all of 10 minutes, he said he needed to go do something really important and that he'd call back. He never did. I called my best friend who knew about my past. She stayed on the phone with me for however long I needed to be on the phone. I should have called her first. It was stupid of me to think that that new guy would understand or have the patience. My friend told me to write my dad a letter explaining my feelings because it would be easier for me to get things down on paper. Then she told me to try talking to my mom. I was afraid because my mom just doesn't understand a lot of things. But, I took her advice. And I'm glad I did. My mom hugged me and said, "I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. And I'm so sorry you were so afraid to tell us." She listened to all I had to say and gave me hugs when I needed it. So, at least one person is on my side. I left the letter for my dad and I know he read it. Now, all I can do is wait until he gets home from work and see what happens from there...
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