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I find it odd that creating a secondary forum entirely for the same purpose is amenable but having one here isn't. However I did kinda expect this sort of answer. We'll prolly go setup an IRC room or some such. In the mean time we'll look after eachother via pm i guess. I'm really baffled by the us/them mentality. The only thing that distinguishes secondaries here is that the only reason they're here is to provide support. Also for the record i can't see any way that a secondaries section would turn into survivor bashing. If we didn't wanna deal with this kind of thing, or we resent

no worries mate.

Yeah, both of them should totally come chill with us. We can toss in an R&S forum and a Venting forum. It'd be grand. Cause we really can't just go out and talk to our friends about it when we need an ear, cause it's not ours to share, but at the same time it can be more than we can deal with alone.

no worries not upset at all. I figure by now any secondaries here know what they should and shouldn't say around survivors. And i still very much wish for survivors to have their own chat area. I just think that secondaries would benefit from having any kinda chat resource.

I've been talking with some other secondaries and it seems pretty universal that we would really like to have a venting forum just for us. A place where we can kinda just go on a tear without risking offending people or upsetting our respective survivors. I was wondering if the admins would be ok with creating a small secondaries area that is exclusively ours (by masking permissions) where secondaries can support eachother and speak frankly with eachother, or just vent. It could either be moderated by either the current mods or admins or a couple secondaries could be picked to look after it

hey Hopeful, I am currently supporting my fiancee in her healing. I'd be happy to give advice if you would like or just to chat about what i've learned over the past year. Deciding to come here was an excellent choice, and I hope we can give you the information and support you're looking for. ~NL

up until very recently my jenny hated sleep. since counseling and since we started staying together things have gotten much better, her nightmares are usually now less than once a week. Things can improve, hold in there.

hey welcome to AS. I hope we're able to help support you. Feel free to drop into the secondary survivors forum to say hi. SPQR started a Q&A thread and we're always happy to help provide a safe and gentle external perspective as people who are or have supported a survivor is their healing. This forum has been a great help to my fiancee and me and i hope it will do the same for you.

@ the admins/mods: I think the system is well thought out, well done. I typically * out words as i remember to just to keep things easier for other readers. I don't really need to voice myself as much for me as i do to look for advice or give advice so most of my posts i try to suit to readers, rather than my catharsis. But I respect people using either setup as their personal needs/desires draw them. (aka complete repeat of the admin's opinions)

Personally I think it's a great idea. I understand a lot of people wouldn't be comfortable with it, but i don't think it would be intended for those people. It's a lot safer and more annonymous than a phonecall and yet still brings a humanity to it. I have some experience with vent, and while i don't run it now i find it handy. Also Vent is very easily disposed to setting up multiple rooms, and has a very simple learning curve. John: Would it be doable as an unofficial thing? Aka: not endorsed by AS but frequently used by ppl on AS? Like could SPQR just go ahead and set it up and give p

Welcome bee, I'm sorry for what has brought you here, but coming here will help. There are a great many people here eager to be able to help you in your healing. I know you probably have a lot of questions and a lot of people here can help. Please feel free to make use of any resources available. ~NL

do not get yourself into a position where you 2 see eachother. It's dangerous and foolish. Appealing yes, but dangerous and foolish. Azazo is right. get an apology or forgive as you like. Then don't talk to him again. It's not worth the risk of falling back into what you were in.

Thanks everyone again. I'm clinging onto this forum and am so glad it's here, and that everyone is so warm to me. Jules: it certainly has been Capulet: I'll be taking you up on that. Whim: not sure that wonderful is the particular term i would use myself, but i understand the sentiment and it is appreciated all the same.

Thanks for the greetings and encouragement. Anyone who is comfortable doing so i would love your advice in the thread i made in secondaries.

howdy thanks and definitely ok.