Cloudhop

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About Cloudhop

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  • MembershipType Survivor
  1. From Victim To Survivor To Thriver

    Wow, so many of these were in categories I didn't expect them to be in, for instance I thought seeing myself as wounded and needing to heal as being a victim-mentality self pitying stance, And feeling I deserved help to be a victim belief, for I thought that feeling you deserve better was a victim mentality, not a survivor mentality. I'm so backwards on some of these. This is a good chart to see where my thinking is flawed. I must admit there is a part of me that feels very defensive when people bring up the "victim" vs. "survivor" definitions, because its like categorizing us into "good" or "bad", but maybe that's just me. I think when someone says "your acting like a victim" My first response would be a deep sense of personal shame at having failed at being the "good" rape victim/survivor.
  2. 5 Words To Your Perpetrator

    Your a piece of Sh*T.
  3. Invalidation. Words Can Hurt!

    People are F*cking stupid. I swear I think there's a mentality out there that if your in mental anguish you must not be a strong person, or like there's something wrong with your character. I had a friend compare having PTSD to a drug addiction, like validation was akin to "enabling" someone with a habit. So out of tough love she was going to not speak with me until I got " my act together" . Like what???! I told her to not F*cking bother. Also had a relative suggest worki g the twelve steps of aa to get rid of my symptoms..... Like writing down all the bad sh*t I've done and making amends will make my hallucinations and body issues go away??? F*ck off!! Of course I don't even think that sh*t is helpfull for people who are addicted anyways. But that's a diff issue
  4. Invalidation. Words Can Hurt!

    My list: *triggering* Said by an ex friend of mine the morning I got home from the hospital ( a neighbor came into my house while I was sleeping) , and had called for support: "So what do you want me to do about it?... Do you want me to fix you?" Like I'm a broken toy? Said to me by a nurse as I was crying hysterically in the "quiet room": Your too old to be reacting this way, grow up. Other comments I've gotten: Why are you allowing these things to affect you? Its not what happens to you that matters, its how you react. You are completely responsible for what happens in your life. Other people have bad lives too, you think your so F*cking special? Your too sensitive, you need to be stronger. I think PTSD is a made up illness. Everyone goes through bad sh*t, how come its only the few who seem to have problems? They're just weak, that's all. Your just looking for someone to take care of you. (Said to me by an ex friend who was still living with parents at the age of 28, with no car and no job - oh BTW I was living in my own house and working full time and going to school full time - yet I wanted this person to take care of me????) If you don't forgive both you and him are going to hell. Said to me by a family member who knew about my childhood rapes but did nothing to stop them: "I've gotten over it and moved on, why can't you?" and "I think you need to stop thinking about your own pain for a moment and think about your poor father, maybe try to understand the pain he must have been in to do these things. Understanding where he's coming from might help you get over it" :!: HELLO!!!! Said to me by a family member who is a sponsor in AA: "You know, we have a saying for situations like this : "Quit your stinking thinking" Did I mention she used to also do rape crisis telephone lines? I dunno, maybe I just attract all the "smart" people.