Hello, I am a new member here. I am a 47 year old male. I was r*ped by an older male when I was 15. He took my virginity. We had been drinking and smoking pot. I was very nieve when it came to sex then, and I didn't understand what was happening, only I was scared. I felt like such a coward during and after. I didn't try to stop him or say no, I just froze. I felt so ashamed after, I couldn't tell anyone for what they might think of me. I started using more and different drugs, along with alchohol after it happened so I could forget it ever happened. It did work in keeping it buried inside for