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Lene

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Posts posted by Lene

    Adding A *non Triggering* Chat Room?

    in Public: Feedback Dropbox

    Posted

    Personally I think both Karen and Sonnet have made valid points and ones which to me make it clear as to why thus far we have never had a second chat room for "light" topic chatting. After Silence is dedicated primarily to SUPPORT of those affected by sexual violence. It therefore stands to reason that their chatroom would primarily be there as a support tool for members. Obviously in a slightly different manner than forum posts but a place which is firstly one of support. Yes it's absolutely fine to have lighthearted banter...we all need that, but when a member comes into chat and needs support that becomes the focus. Those that need to leave do so..hopefully not everyone but we all know there are no guarantees on that.

    I think the second chatroom works well when there are Topic chats for obvious reasons but always having two chatrooms I think has the potential for causing a divide and feelings of isolation much like the pm feature did laterally when it was available in the chatroom. Can you imagine how it would feel to go into the triggering chatroom because you desperately needed support and advice only to find no-one there....so you skip over to the non-triggering chatroom and tentitively ask if anyone would mind coming back into the triggering chatroom to talk to you... no-one does. How crushed and rejected does that make the person feel ?..however legit the others reasons for not going are.

    I have yet to witness an entire chatroom...even if there were only 4 people...empty when someone needs support.

    Just my thoughts from over the years folks...

    Pm Question..

    in Public: Feedback Dropbox

    Posted

    and in answer to your "could you send it again" question..the request has been sent twice and I can't be bothered sending it a 3rd time coz it's speaking volumes already! cheers for the info though..I am now not quite so technologically challenged as I was an hour ago...not out of the woods in that respect yet though...not by a long shot!!! hahaha!!!

    Pm Question..

    in Public: Feedback Dropbox

    Posted

    Just wondering something...being technologically challenged...if you sent a pm and there was no reply does that mean that the person you sent the pm to has a full inbox so it wasn't recieved..like if an inbox is full would you get a message saying so?

    Mentor/small Group Support

    in Public: Feedback Dropbox

    Posted

    Much as I think this sounds lovely in theory I think it would just isolate people as "little groups" would form and new people who are already feeling vulnerable and alone would feel like outsiders and it may appear quite intimidating.

    I think msn/yahoo is great for this purpose as its removed from the board itself and is therefore does not appear to visably exclude,even if that is not the intention.

    Lene x

    Questions And Concerns

    in Public: Feedback Dropbox

    Posted

    Pam..I hope you don't mind but I'd just like to comment on your above post..

    I think we all at times make flash judgements,often in the heat of the moment when we are upset about something and just can't understand why what has happened has done.More often than not we don't have all the info and in anger and hurt we lash out...you know the feeling,like a bomb going off inside yourself.

    I think it happens especially when we as survivors are so full of anger,hurt and mistrust to start with..whether we realise it or not...so the "taking stock" part often gets skipped over!

    I myself have lost count of the amount of times in my life that my mouth has run away with me and later having cooled,thought it through from both mine and the other persons perspective,wish I'd counted to at least 100 before speaking!

    Pam..it takes courage to put your hand in the air and apologise for being hasty in your judgements. I hope this courage of yours rubs off on me!!!

    Finally..I love where this thread started and the journey it has taken us all on..I think much has been gained for all of us...thank-you :up:

    :hug: Lene x

    Questions And Concerns

    in Public: Feedback Dropbox

    Posted · Edited by Lene

    Hi Cathie, I am NOT attcking your post for it is part of this thread and everyones opinion and viewpoint is welcomed and necessary.I guess I just wanted to make my own points with regards to some of what you have said..

    I don't post here often but I do read a lot. I think a big reason

    people are scared of the moderators here is that so many of them never

    post. They're not really part of the community at all. We're supposed

    to trust their decisions but how can they really know what's going on,

    and how should anyone trust them if they aren't really part of it? I I

    know people are busy, but one of the administrators logs on like once

    a month and hasn't posted in months. It seems like very few of the

    administrators and moderators actually care enough to be part of this

    place.

    * As far as I'm aware the mods/admin take the time to carefully browse through threads so that they can check that rules have not been broken and hurtful things said etc.This is their job and it's a time consuming one.I think the very fact that they take the time to do this shows how much they do care for this community and it's members.

    Maybe there's a lot of behind the scenes stuff but we only see

    rule related stuff most of the time. Of course people are scared of

    the mods. They're like headmasters who drop in every now and then but

    rarely have a conversation with you. And some chat mods and Newbie

    Support people haven't logged on in over months.

    * Just like you and I the mods,admin,chat mods and newbie support team have a life outwith the internet.They,just like you,I and everyone else are also survivors and dealing with their own trauma and aftermath..still taking time out as often as possible to take care of people here.I am an ex chat mod..several times during this period I disappeared off the radar for a while,I needed a break and time to deal with things in my life.Not once was I pulled up on this..perhaps I should've been..but bottom line I wasn't.I needed to take time out and this was understood and supported without question.Perhaps those who seem to be missing at times are doing just that.Even a loss of internet connection could account for their absence.

    I've seen several

    times where concerns aren't addressed for days. I know that people are

    busy and a couple mods do a good job and are around alot (like Jessie

    and Kelly). But some mods are never here and some always seem to be so

    negative and rude in how they talk to everyone, like she's better than

    everyone else. Maybe some of the staff are too busy for the job and

    should quit so someone who is actually dedicated to being PART of this

    instead of just OVERSEEING it can step in.

    * Believe me problems are addressed as soon as possible.

    I think it's a bit unfair to single out anyone whether it is positively or not.

    How dare anyone voice a problem with the powers that be."

    * Rather alot of this thread has been about just that...but has been kept discusional and daggers have not been thrown...lets hope it can continue that way.

    Lene x

    edit- How on earth did I get half my reply within the quote??????? I've been here 4 yrs and still can't get it right!!!! My answers have a * next to them if that helps even remotely!!!! Sorry!!!! :P

    edit no.2...admin have fixed my stupidity...IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!

    Questions And Concerns

    in Public: Feedback Dropbox

    Posted · Edited by Lene

    I'm going to make this ultra short for many excellant and interesting points have already been made.

    I too find a huge difference in the site from when I first joined 4 yrs ago and now.

    BUT...I am member no.1225 whilst the membership now stands at 12 289...huge difference and one which I think totally shifts the balance.

    The more people you put in one room the more disagreement and differering opinions you are going to get.I know this isn't the complete essence of this thread but I think it's an important point.

    :hug: Lene x

    Locked Topic

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Welcome to AS friendofafriend!! :)

    Yeah it can all be a bit confusing to start with..I remember it well!!

    If you look at the bottom of the forum pages there is a list of staff types in different colours..e.g moderators,newbie support...click on either of those and some names will come up which if you click on one you will get the persons profile.In the profile there is a communication section where you can click on send a message which will allow you to pm that person with any questions..I know this sounds all complicated..perhaps someone else can put it more simply!!!

    As for the 10 posts before getting into chat I think that's just so we all have a chance to get to know you a bit.I've found that normal practice on good forums...most of them require more than 10 posts!!!

    Hope that's of some help..navigating everything in the beginning does take a bit of time and getting used to but it is well worth it..this is a great site full of supportive and understanding people :)

    Look forward to getting to know ya

    :hug: Lene x

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