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Everything posted by bekahsmom2

  1. Welcome Ghostlovescore! I hope that you find what you are looking for here. I take it in within small doses...There is so much to think and feel and most trapped by decades of silence. Sometimes, just listening to others is really good and you can find words for things you never could express before. Sometimes it is more painful than others and the support...knowing other people can relate to your experience. I know my whole life, I have felt lonely and set apart from others. It's nice to find a place where I belong....anyway, just wanted to welcome you!!!
  2. **********t************************* My mom the day the dhs people told her, "You don't even know what sex is....why would you say these things about your father? If you needed our attention, all you had to do was ask?" (wish I said, "Really, because I am 12 and he's in my room 3-4 nights a week....would you like to know about oral, anal, playboy, or the pony game?) 1 yr later--grandmother "You are going to be the death of your mother and she is my baby and I can't let you hurt her anymore. you will go to therapy and you will talk. your mom wants you home." (wish--What the f...k, excuse me I was the one who got f...ked, kicked out, and had to live with strangers...I'm going to be the death of her.....what about why she didn't protect me?) one old friend we were 14---curled her nose and said "you had s x with your father...eww and you let him?" (Let him? I didn't know that I could tell him NO after all he beat the hell out me with a belt at a drop of the hat) last therapist--last year---"Oh, I just want to vomit" after telling her the way it started. (Thanks--I didn't feel enough shame....i'm so fkd up that even the professional can't hear my sh*t. There is also the matter of his being the dad and weighing like 250 and me being 9 and weighing like 75) my ex best friend--"You just need to get over it. It's in the past...leave it there." (It's not in my past. It's in my dreams, in my quiet moments, it's when my husband touches me, or you talk about sex with your partner..it's my first thought in the morning and my last thought each night. I wake up with clenched teeth and stiff muscles from fighting all night long...that's my present...not my past.) co-worker---"You have to stop dwelling on it....you can't live there...you choose to dwell on it." (Choose--now that's something I've never had--How do you not dwell?) ex bestfriend--"I love you, but I will not talk with you anymore about your past. You need to get over it...get past it and I'm not going to help you dwell there." ( How can you love me and deny me....how can you see me hurting and just say that's it....we won't speak of this anymore) abuser--"I thought you liked it" "Well, why else would you ask me if I would be coming into your room later" (Liked it?WTF--I just needed to know if I had the night off you sick bastard)
  3. Welcome to AS! Sorry for your experience...We share some commonalities, but we each are at different stages of healing. Hope you find the support you need here. I have. There are some really special people on here. again welcome to AS! Shelli
  4. Hi Michelle! Welcome to AS! Sorry for the circumstances that led you hear, but hope you find healing and support here. I can't say I was very scared to share the first time. I was just typing into the computer my thoughts. I guess I didn't think about how others might respond. Be gentle with yourself!!! Shelli
  5. Hey colorado mommy! Welcome to AS! There are some great people around here. Glad to have you here. The Forums are full of great info.. you have to post 25 times to enter into chat. some really good forums. Again, Welcome! Shelli
  6. welcometo AS Berni--I think you will find some great friends.
  7. WElcome to AS. Sorry that you share the purpose for this forum. I hope that you find your healing here. Somedays it's very hard, but stay busy and talk. We all need each other. You have to have like 25 posts before you can make it to live chat. I hope you find the support and answers that you nee.
  8. bekahsmom2


    Welcome to AS. Sorry that you share this issue with us, but know that you are not alone. I hope you find the answers and support you need here
  9. Welcome to AS. I am glad you are here. Get on with the posting. You don't have to post a lot about you, but you can't get in the live chat room until you do post a set number of times. I am sorry for the thing we have in common, but very proud for the place that we have to meet. It is a joy knowing that I am not alone and I can be a little better each and everyday with the support of my friends here.
  10. anger is the only constant in my life. I really don't want to be angry anymore, but it is all I know. It's really cool that you can be thankful. This site has been very helpful to me as well. Glad you found your way here. continue on the journey to healing.
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