caleigh

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About caleigh

  • Birthday 03/20/1968

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    USA......West Coast

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  • MembershipType
    Survivor

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  1. I have just started working on my own self image............been working on a LOT of things, like getting out of my abusive marriage..............BUT, my self image sucks and so I have just started with a few things to try to make ME feel good about ME. 1. I got my eyebrows and moustache waxed for the first time in my life, and I'm over 40! Not having a hairy moustache makes me feel SOOOOOO much better when I look in the mirror. 2. I highlighted my hair and BOUGHT A CURLING IRON.............which was a huge deal for me to do, although I know it may not seem like much to others. 3. Most importantly...........every night before I go to bed I think of ONE THING that I did RIGHT TODAY and tell myself that I did a GOOD JOB with at least ONE THING!! I'm also trying to eat healthier..........quality, nutritious food and trying to stay healthy physically instead of always torturing my body with my ED. THANKS for this thread!
  2. I sent you a message in reply, but I wanted to add on here how happy I am that you found this site. Please know that there ARE people that care and there ARE people that love you and will stand with you and help you through each step of healing..............IF you'll let them. I know that I sure wish I had found this place when I was your age, but I don't know that I would have LET anyone help me back then anyhow. Maybe God brought me here at 40 because it's the first time that I've been at a stage to let others help me. None of us will ever know WHY we find this place when we do.........but now that you're here USE IT. Pick our brains, vent your frustrations, tell us about your day........whatever you need to do for YOU, we're here. WELCOME.........I'm so very proud of you for posting on here. I'm SOOOOOO thankful that you have a safe family to be with. I would like to offer some good safe
  3. Doesn't sound stupid to me at all. I READ these boards for five years before I would actually start posting. I never did post on this WELCOME board, still haven't told MY STORY........but just decided one day that I was FINALLY brave even to sign in with a name instead of just reading as a "guest". I guess the NEED TO VENT board was my first place to post. You are very brave to have come here. I am proud of you...........seek support. Look around, read the posts and when you feel comfortable posting about YOU.......do it, not before it feels safe for you though. This place is all about honoring yourself and your OWN feelings..........take care and WELCOME TO THIS WONDERFUL WORLD OF SUPPORT!
  4. these ALL came from my mother........... That was a long time ago, I thought you were over that by now. You really need to learn to pray more and let God take care of things for you. Stop trying to FIX your father and FIX YOUR MARRIAGE (with my abusive husband) I have a lot of information in my journal from that time that may help you with some of your memory............so then I asked her to drop it off so that I could read it..............her answer....OH YOU'RE NOT GOING TO READ IT, IT'S MY JOURNAL! the only reason that you would feel guilty or ashamed is if you really did ENJOY parts of it and a MILLION more things over the years...............OH, here's another........if you would have TOLD me then it wouldn't have gone on for so long
  5. "I don't mind paying for my OWN mistakes but I refuse to pay for your father's mistakes for the rest of my life"...........my husband has said that one to me SEVERAL times over our marriage, any time I am upset with something he has done he tries to put that onto my past. (Just 3 days ago I told him that if you want to be with ME then you will seek counseling and figure out how to accept the WHOLE ME because being with me means that you WILL pay for my father's mistakes for the rest of your life!...........I'm still proud of myself for saying that) "If I wasn't there, and no one else was there to SEE IT HAPPEN, then I don't believe that it happened" "It's time to GET OVER IT" "He had a really rough childhood, he just didn't know what he was doing" "At least SHE told.......if you would have TOLD then it wouldn't have gone on so long" "so you must have enjoyed SOME part of it or you wouldn't have let it continue".........I WAS A CHILD, LIKE I THOUGHT I HAD A CHOICE!!!!!!!!!!! I really could go on and on with this one.........between my husband and my family, there's been some doozies!
  6. WELCOME.........I've only just begun my journey of stepping out of internal denial also.......sounds like we're in somewhat of the same boat. It's time for me to start living for ME and taking care of ME and stepping off this constant path of abuse. I've been on these boards for about 2 weeks, it's a great place to vent and not feel like a freak.