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Posts posted by Jessie

  1. I think Kelly's post has pretty much covered everything but I just wanted to add my own points to this thread.

    Firstly, I am saddened to read that members feel they cannot come to us with issues My pm box is always open if anyone has any concerns or issues. Whenever anyone has come to me with a problem, I have always tried my very best to resolve it as best as I can. I'm not saying we always get it right, because we don't. But that's why there are a number of moderators. We always consult with each other on matters, because sometimes it takes another persons opinion, to see things in a different light.

    Our main aim as moderators is to keep the board running as smoothly as possible. With the huge amount of members here, it's not an easy job. Personalities will clash, disputes are inevitable. We try to resolve these as quietly as possible with as little disruption to the board as possible. That is why we prefer to do things privately. If we were to make all disputes public, posting about every problem member, the board would loose it's purpose, and that's to help us heal.

    I have seen a handful of members banned since becoming a moderator. When you look at the number of members here, that is a really small percentage, and as Kelly pointed out, we really don't make decisions to ban lightly. If members feel the need to discuss this with us, then we are open to doing this privately. What we will not do is discuss our reasons for the ban or any details around it, but we are here to listen if you need to express your feelings around it. It's completely understandable that you would be upset if someone you have become friends with is suddenly banned. There are times when even we have been upset, but we have to put our feelings to the side and look at how this will affect the board as a whole, and that is how we come to the final decision. What members don't see are the nasty pm's we get about decisions we make. If we were to ban just because someone upset us, then we would be banning members daily. This is just not the case.

    I would hate for any member to feel unsafe here. I would encourage anyone who feels that way to please contact us, and we will do our very best to help you. We are not "above" anyone here, we are the same as everyone else, survivors, just trying to to deal with our pasts and move on with our lives. We are just members here like everyone else, the only difference being we have a few extra duties :P

    We are always open to suggestions, we are always looking at ways to make the board a better place. As it gets bigger, changes will happen, things that worked once, may not work anymore. I really mean it when I say we welcome your input. What really makes me sad is the "us and them" with mods and members that seems to be appearing. I hope our posts will help remove this and help everyone see that this is not how we wish to operate.

    Lastly, I will just repeat what I said, my pm box is always open. Please feel free to contact me anytime. :hug:

  2. Hi amandainnswooo,

    Welcome to After Silence. :flowers:

    I'm so sorry things are difficult for you right now and I am sorry for what you have been through. I hope AS helps you reach out and get the support you so truly deserve.

    Take care :bighug:

  3. Hi Liberrygrrl,

    Welcome to After Silence. I hope AS helps you find the support you deserve. :flowers:

    Everybody has different triggers, and each person has no way of knowing what would trigger someone else. Please don’t worry too much about triggering others. If you feel a post may do so, just put a trigger warning on top and members can decide themselves in they are in a strong enough place to read it. This is about your healing, so feel free to share your feelings.

    Take care :hug:

  4. Hi, and welcome to After Silence Mettadana :flowers:

    I’m sorry you have to be here, but so glad you have taken the first step in reaching out for support, and I hope AS helps you on your healing journey.

    The first posts can be scary, but I promise you’ll feel at home in no time at all.

    If you have any questions, or there is anything you need, feel free to pm me anytime. :hug:

  5. Dublin Rape Crisis Centre

    Helpline 1800 77 88 88

    e-mail rcc@indigo.ie

    Web Site www.drcc.ie

    Cork Rape Crisis Centre

    Helpline 1800 49 64 96

    e-mail admin@cork-rapecrisis.ie

    Web Site www.cork-rapecrisis.ie

    Galway Rape Crisis Centre

    Helpline 1850 35 53 55

    e-mail galwayrcc@eircom.net

    Web Site www.grcc.ie

    Limerick Rape Crisis Centre

    Helpline 1800 31 15 11

    e-mail limerickrcc@oceanfree.com

    South Leinster Rape Crisis Centre

    Helpline 1800 72 77 37

    e-mail southleinsterrapecc@eircom.net

    Sligo Rape Crisis Centre

    Helpline 1800 75 07 80

    e-mail info@srcc.ie

    WebSite www.srcc.ie

    Wexford Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Services

    Helpline 1800 33 00 33

    e-mail wexrapecrisis@eircom.net

    Waterford Rape Crisis Centre

    Helpline 1800 29 62 96

    e-mail wrcc@indigo.ie

    Tipperary Rape Crisis Centre

    Helpline 1800 34 03 40

    e-mail trcc@eircom.net

    Mayo Rape Crisis Centre

    Helpline 1800 23 49 00

    e-mail mayorcc@anu.ie

    Dundalk Rape Crisis Centre

    Helpline 1800 212122

    e-mail dundalkrcc@eircom.net

    Web Site www.dundalkrcc.com

    Athlone [Midland] Rape Crisis Centre

    Helpline 1800 30 66 00

    Belfast Rape Crisis Centre

    Phone from south...04890 32 18 30

    Kerry Rape Crisis Centre

    Helpline 1800 63 33 33

    e-mail krcc@eircom.net

    Kilkenny Rape Crisis Centre

    Helpline 1800 47 84 78

    Tullamore Rape Crisis Centre

    Helpline 1800 32 32 32

  6. Welcome to After Silence Starfish. :flowers:

    It’s okay to feel nervous when you first start to post, I’m sure everyone here can relate to feeling that way, when they first joined.

    I’m sorry for what brings you here, Facing up to what happened isn’t easy, and I think you are really brave for doing so.

    I hope AS helps you on your journey. :aswelcomesu:

  7. Hi Ave,

    Welcome to After Silence. :flowers:

    I’m so sorry to hear what happened to you. I think rape does change your outlook on life, I know it definitely changed mine. I’m glad to hear you are doing things to help yourself, and I think it’s really brave of you to come here and open up to us.


    i'm new here too. today is my first day at the message boards. right now, if its ok, im just gonna kinda look around the boards and maybe post a lil, but im not ready to tell me story. is that ok?

    Welcome, Feeling Alone :flowers:

    There is no pressure to tell your story, Take as much time as you wish to look around and get comfortable on the boards.

    Take care :hug:

  8. Hi brokensoul, :flowers:

    Welcome to After Silence. As others have said, it was NOT your fault and I’m sorry you had to hear that from a so called friend.

    I know how painful and frightening flashbacks are, but it actually could be sign that you are ready to process the memories you have buried, Although, I know that doesn’t help when you are dealing with them.

    I have found with time, the frequency and intensity of my flashbacks have reduced and I hope it will be the same for you. For me personally, I try to ground myself as best as I can, and afterwards I find it helps if I write about what I experienced during it

    I hope you can manage to get some sleep, and I hope AS can help you on your healing journey. :hug:

  9. Welcome to AS Tale. The first posts are always nerve wracking but I’m sure you will feel right at home in no time at all. :)

    I’m really sorry for what you have been through. I’m glad you were able to reach out to your friend though, and am so happy to hear she was supportive and understanding.

    When I first joined AS, I like you, had vowed never to tell anyone about my assault. But I think sharing online has made it so much easier for me to open up to people in my everyday life. I hope it will be the same for you. :flowers:

  10. Hi Dolphin.

    Welcome to After Silence. I’m glad you found us. :)

    The first time I posted on AS, I was shaking so much I could hardly type. Now, it feels like my second home. I know the first post is scary, but I promise you, that feeling will soon pass.

    I'm sorry your anniversary is approaching. I think anniversaries are one of the most difficult times of the year for survivors. I understand how hard it hits and how fragile it leaves you feeling.

    I hope you can continue to reach out get the support you deserve. :hug:

  11. What is on the women's only forum

    Hi Fall,

    In response to your question, the women's only forum is a sub forum off the share your story forum, that allows female members share their stories and share questions you may have regarding intimacy etc that you would feel more comfortable sharing with female members.

    If you would like the password, just pm me or any of the other mods and we'll be happy to send it to you. :)

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