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  1. Today
  2. Glad to find this place

    Thank you @snmls, @8888, @Poppy_, @missfrier and @MeBeMary for the kind welcome. Mary, what I was told by the boyfriend and a friend at the time was to the effect that it wasn't a big deal, and I don't think "intimate partner abuse" was even a known thing then. So I had no framework for understanding what happened or why I felt the way I did. I didn't see myself as a victim either and was so lost and confused. Thanks for your understanding and to everyone for the offers of help and support. I've been reading here and crying a lot but I think it's a good thing.
  3. Glad to find this place

    Hi Jen, Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for the traumas you've experienced by your exs. It is never right for anyone to hurt you this way. Sometime it can take seeing another situation to be able to relate to your own. I know for years I didn't even think of myself as a victim/survivor...just someone who somehow made a mistake that I couldn't explain. So I do understand. It took me many years and finding this place to finally admit the truth. This is a safe place with understanding people who will support you without judgment or pressure. You are not alone. Take your time and look around. Wishing you the best on this journey of healing. Mary
  4. Wow, Chica, you've had one hell of a journey. I knew some of it, but certainly not all, and I'm so glad for the "was" in "wasband"! I have to say that while I had a very high level of respect for you and how far you've come before, reading this has increased the esteem I hold you in that much further. And by the way, it's nonsense thinking that this installment wasn't as "flowy" as the other two. It was beautifully written, as always. You should be proud of yourself for a myriad of reasons and I hope you know that. Much love, my friend.
  5. Yesterday
  6. Glad to find this place

    Dear @JenXJenny Welcome to After Silence. I am sorry to hear of the trauma you have been through! Being here has helped me so much. Everyone is so caring and supportive here. I am proud of you for reaching out. I know that is hard to do. I also know that you will find that needed compassion and support here within our community. Know we are here for you and we will listen whenever you would like to lean on us. Take care and please do not hesitate to ask for any help if you ever need it.
  7. Outcast







  8. Hi!

    Thank you everyone. I really appreciate your kind words!
  9. Last week
  10. The first step

    I've never written a blog or journal before. Maybe this won't last longer than a day. Everything is a struggle right now. No part of me wants to be alive. But I'm scared of hurting the people I love. It's strange feeling so much love for those around me when all my other emotions are so dark and bleak. I'm living with friends at the moment as I'm not safe on my own. I showered today, for the first time in 4 days, I'm surprised my friends wanted to be around me. I also ate for the first time in 4 days. I didn't realise how hungry I was until I took that first bite. Two things that seemed impossible a few days ago. I'm exhausted but I achieved two things today, I guess that's progress. I hope everyone else is doing better. D x
  11. Glad to find this place

    Hi @JenXJenny - Welcome to After Silence! I'm really glad you found us. I know how scary it can be to go through stuff like this and no one should have to go through that alone. So don't worry - we are all here to support you! You can always talk to me if you need someone to talk to. I have an open door policy and I am always online. Just one PM away! Sending you safe hugs! Warm wishes, Poppy
  12. Glad to find this place

    Welcome to After Silence. I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support. Good job taking this step in your healing process. You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault. Take your time exploring and post when you are ready. If you have any questions feel free to message me.
  13. Hi

    Thank you so much Capulet, looking forward to getting to know you too x
  14. Hi

    Hi S88, thanks you for the welcome (I don’t know how to add those emojis but I’m waving back!) x
  15. Glad to find this place

    Hi @JenXJenny Welcome to AS. I'm sorry for the trauma you have experienced in your life, but I'm glad you found the site and decided to join. This is a safe space and no one will judge you here. We are all here to support each other. Please know that what happened to you was not your fault and you didn't deserve it. I believe you and believe that you can and will heal. It's normal for a survivor not to truly realize or understand what happened to them until months or years later. Not realizing it right away does not make your experience any less valid. When we do finally begin to understand it can be overwhelming at first, but things will get better over time. Joining this site was a step toward healing. We are here for you and you will not be alone here. I hope you find this site to be as helpful as I do. Ps. I love the LadyLike videos and was really moved by the video of Devon sharing her story.
  16. Glad to find this place

    Hi all, I was assaulted by 2 different boyfriends, at age 16 and 21. What happened when I was 16 was something it's taken decades to fully understand. I did realize some things about it I hadn't before due to the testimony of Dr. Ford and then saw a video testimony from Devin of Ladylike sharing her story which brought new realizations, then just 2 days ago read a news article and I feel like I have finally grasped what really happened and am struggling with the weight of this knowledge. I have no one in my life I can talk to about this and no access to counseling but I desperately need to talk and not carry this alone anymore. I found this place through a google search and hope to find support and understanding. Looking forward to meeting the folks here. -Jen
  17. Hi

    Hello, @NightJasmine and welcome to After Silence! I'm sorry that you have reason to be here, but am hoping that being here brings you peace, comfort and healing. This is truly a wonderful space, and we're happy to have you among our community. Thank you in advance for the support you will provide others!!! Looking forward to getting to know you, Capulet
  18. hi

    Welcome to AS, @J_123!!! I'm sorry to learn of the trauma that has led you to us but am hoping that you see for yourself that this is a safe space and the support is unwavering. Please know that you are not alone and that many here understand. We are here for you. Welcome!!!! Best wishes, Capulet
  19. Hi!

    Welcome back. You are always welcome here. I'm sorry you have been struggling for the past year. I hope you can find some comfort within this community. We are all here to support each other.
  20. Hi!

    Hi, @ladyshiva, Sorry to hear you've been feeling down lately! I do hope that being here will bring you a sense of peace, healing and comfort. A few things have changed around here, but we are still the same supportive space we've always been, so please know that we are here for you if you need to lean on us. Wishing you all the best, Capulet
  21. Newbie

    HI @Blanksheet11 Welcome to AS. I'm sorry for the trauma in your life that has brought you here, but I'm glad you found the site and decided to join. This is a safe space and no one will judge you here. We are all here to support each other. Connecting with other survivors can help you feel less alone. Post on the forums whenever you feel comfortable. I hope you end up finding this site as helpful as I do.
  22. Newbie

    Hello @Blanksheet11 and welcome to After Silence!!! I'm hopeful that you'll feel safe here as we are a truly amazing and supportive bunch. There is no judgement here, and you are never alone! Sending you tons of healing wishes! My best wishes, Capulet
  23. hi

    HI @J_123 Welcome to AS. I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I want you to know that it was not your fault, you did not deserve what happened to you, and that I believe you. I'm really glad you found the site. This is a safe space and no one will judge you here. We are all here to support each other. You are welcome to post on the forum any time you feel comfortable. You will survive and heal from this. Reach out if you need anything. By just taking this first step you are taking back control.
  24. Hi!

    Hi, ladyshiva, and welcome back!
  25. Newbie

    Hi, Blanksheet11, and welcome!
  26. hi

    Hi, J_123, and welcome!
  27. Hi

    Hi, NightJasmine, and welcome!
  28. Hi!

    Hello ladyshiva, Welcome back to AS. I am very sorry that you have endured trauma and still struggle, due to this. I am glad tho that you remember that AS is a wonderfully supportive site. Tho you may meet many new people from when you first came to AS, they are truly understanding and kind. You are not alone. I wish you nothing but the best in your continuing journey. Mary
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