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20150916-001


lcacejk

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I've started standing my ground a little and speaking my mind just enough for someone to understand that things aren't quite right with me. I still haven't figured out how to set boundaries with my husband in a way that he does not get angry or hurt. Because I work with victims of sexual assault and domestic violence, I sometimes have days that are very difficult for me and make it emotionally painful to be close to someone or intimate with my husband. My last assault was just before we were married two years ago so things are just difficult without the job doing it too. I have had a lifetime of practice pretending everything is ok but I just don't want to do that anymore. I've had little practice being able to express what is really going on for me and some of the words feel so painful I can't say them. I wish I could paint or draw or write or something expressive that could show the hurricane of emotions I stand under everyday. I struggle everyday with just finding a reason to make it til tomorrow.

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