I find navigating in this world very difficult due to my past experiences. I struggle to understand the right things to say ,how to react in certain situations and investing my time in the things I should.I find everyday occurrences to be very challenging and difficult. I would like to share my struggle with you if you have the time to see if a problem shared is a problem halved.
I have recently discovered I can not handle being criticised even when it comes from a loving source or is Infact a truth I'm aware of, I just can not handle it and I shut down. I go into panic mode and begin to attack with a very sharp tongue. When ever I seem to hear about my short falls all I hear is YOUR NOT GOOD ENOUGH! Now I heard this plenty of times from my abuser and things of this nature and have no trouble tracking my issues and figuring out that it's more than likely the cause. The only things is I live in a world where everyone is critical so I can not keep running away from these conversations especially when sometimes I need to hear what there saying.
So I'm trying to figure out a way I can maturely have a conversation with someone about improving my self without throwing all the walls up and feeling like the little girl trapped in a corner again whilst being told your not good enough! I need to learn to grow from my issues and learn to take on my imperfections. It's not that I love myself too much or my ego is deflated when I hear these things. I just go into melt down mode and my heart just pains when I hear this things I'm not so good at.
Maybe I just hold my tongue and cry about it later? Do I need to address my issues with myself? Do I have a right to not want to hear negative feedback? What do I do? And the question I'm asking you is what would you do?