I can't anymore I just can't. I want to go to leave this planet. I'm so alone right now. I'm so useless I'm a waste of space on this this earth, why would I want to go on. This is stupid. I'm sat here, alone, distrort, clueless, scared, sick to death or everything. No one cares about me, and if they did or do, I'm either unaware of it, or I'm successfully pushed them away. I'm alone. Alone, alone, alone, alone alone - always alone. I was born alone, and I'll die alone.
I feel the deep hurt again tonight - it's surfacing. I can't supress it tonight and I'm not in control. I don't know where to go with this. It's crazy. All the 'therapy' things I've been told about say 'you must sit with your emotions' - sit with it? I'm going to explode. They're developed by scientific people who have no idea what trauma is or does to you. Utter geeks! Enough ranting I think for now.